The volume continues to get louder, not stopping until it hits one hundred.
“Are you stepping on it?” I shout.
“I’d think I’d know if I was stepping on it,” she shouts back. “Fuck, is it broken?”
More moans come from the TV, and Wren turns around again and stares.
“You little nympho. You do like it. If you want we could just watch it. I’m sure it’s almost over,” I say because apparently I can’t help myself.
Blush crawls up her neck. “You’re unbearable!” she yells.
“There is no shame in liking porn,” I yell over the TV.
A loud banging comes from the apartment above us.
“Shit, you think the neighbors think we're doing it?” I laugh.
“No, I don’t think they think we’re doing it.”
There’s another loud moan, and then more banging from upstairs.
“They totally think we’re doing it,” I say, smirking. She chunks a pillow at my head.
“God, where is the fucking remote?” she shouts, grabbing a blanket and tossing it across the room, barely missing Dolly, who jumps out of the way.
The sounds of clapping skin echoes through the apartment.
I bend down on all fours to look under the coffee table, and see something on the other side. Crawling around the base of the table, I continue to check, but Wren must not see that I’m on the ground. At the same time that I reach under the table to grab for what I think is the remote, she steps backwards and trips over my body. I grab for the object, but it’s just a cat toy.
“Shit,” she yells, as she tumbles to the floor, causing me to lose my balance and fall with her. We both roll to our backs and burst out laughing as another dramatic moan comes through the TV.
“Are you okay?” I ask, turning to face her. There’s only a few inches between us, and she looks adorably annoyed with me and the situation. She turns toward me, and her hair covers her face. Without thinking, I move it behind her ear,and her breath catches. Alarm bells start going off in my head, and I’m certain that the look she’s giving me is the look of a woman who wants to be kissed.
My body takes over, and I begin to close the gap between us, but before my lips can find hers, she rolls onto her back, and my heart deflates.
“I’m fine,” she says, smiling. “This is absurd.”
“I think it’s pretty funny,” I say, trying to shake the feelings I’m having. We both sit up. “Honestly, you have to give it to them. They’re still going at it,” I laugh again and gesture toward the TV with my hand.
She stands, frustrated, and starts flipping over pillows again. “It has to be here somewhere.”
I stand, and grab the blanket. “Found it!” I yell, picking it up and laughing hard.
“I’m coming,”the woman says, as the man pumps into her harder.
“For the love of god, use it then,” Wren screams. I click the TV off, right as they both climax.
Laughter bubbles out of both of us. “It’s a mess in here,” she says, looking around the space.
“Hey, at least we found the remote,” I shake it in the air and then set it on the table.
“Watching a porno with you tonight was not on my BINGO card,” she says, laughing.
“Mine either, but you have to admit it was funny. Do you want to try a different movie?”
“And risk being assaulted by another seventy-five inch dick? No, thank you.”
“His dick didn’t take up the whole TV.”
