“Me too, Sugar.”
Bending over, I place a kiss on her forehead, happy to be back in New York with the girl of my dreams.
Chapter 44: Goodbye, For Now
Everett
December Twenty-Second
The past few days have been full of ups and downs, the only consistent thing being Claire and me. She’s been so patient while I talked with my doctors and navigated my decision about what I should do about my shoulder—and ultimately, my career. I couldn’t have done it without her.
The front of Madison Square Garden looks like we’re here for my celebration of life, and fuck it’s depressing. My photo is on every screen with the words: Thank you Everett Nuttall. I’m sitting at a long table with the Crowns’ general manager, Grant Ackerly, and our head coach, Rob Zillman. Behind us is a backdrop covered in the Crowns’ insignia, and off to the side is Sally overseeing it all. The crowd is a mix of my teammates and reporters, all poised to hear what I have to say.
Scanning the crowd, I exhale when I see Claire sitting in the back row. Her eyes are locked on mine, and she gives me a reassuring smile. I know that this is the right move, but it doesn’t make it easier.
“We want to thank everyone for being here this morning,” my coach begins. “I think instead of hearing from me, I’m going to go ahead and turn it over to the man of the hour.”
Everyone’s eyes land on me, and I nervously shuffle thenotecards in front of me that are covered with the speech Claire helped me write.
“First, I want to thank everyone for coming out. I realize it’s a busy week with the holiday right around the corner, so this means a lot.”
My eyes find Claire, and she nods, encouraging me to keep going.
“As you all know, I’m no longer healthy enough to continue to play. This decision to retire did not come lightly, since hockey has been my life for as long as I can remember, but after talking with the team doctors, I decided that it was best that I go out on my own terms, and I can’t think of a better team to end my career with.”
A few flashes from cameras light-up, and I clear my throat, swallowing down the tears threatening to break free.
“As a kid, I dreamed of playing for the New York Crowns, and I’ll never forget the opportunity they gave me at the start of my career. No where else has felt like home, like this arena and the people associated with this organization have. When the opportunity presented itself to come back at the start of the season, I was thrilled, and while I didn’t foresee my career ending this early, it does feel right to finish out my career with this team.”
Lifting my head, I see Claire smile and give me a thumbs up.
“Recent events in my personal life have shown me that life is too short to live in pain, and so I hope the fans can understand this decision. We have some of the best fans in the league, and I am looking forward to joining them and forever cheering on the Crowns.”
Taking a deep breath, I shift the cards in front of me.
“There are so many people I want to take this opportunity to thank, so please bear with me while I try to get through the list.” A few chuckles echo through the crowd. “Coach Rob, it’s been an honor getting to play for you again. You believed in me when I was a rookie, and I will be forever grateful to have played for you. To the rest of the coaching staff, thank you for your support and your guidance.”
I shift in my seat, trying to hold it together.
“Mr. Ackerly, thank you for believing in this team and me. To the team medical staff, thank you for your honest guidance while I navigated this decision. I’d like to thank my team. It’s been the honor of my career to be your captain. I truly believe you all havewhat it takes to go all the way, and I look forward to watching it happen.”
Clearing my throat, I find Claire again, and she nods her head, calming my nerves.
“I know my family, especially my nieces will be watching this, so I need to give them a shout out.” I chuckle. “Elsie and Iris, thank you for keeping my locker decorated with your drawings and for being my biggest fans. I can’t think of two more special kids. To the rest of my family, thank you for making it possible for me to live out my dream. If it hadn’t been for my parents supporting this passion from a very young age, none of us would be here today. And lastly…” I find Claire one more time, and my eyes become glossy. “I’d like to thank my girlfriend, Claire Silverman.”
Gasps roll through the crowd, and a smile breaks across my face.
“I guess you all can consider this our hard launch.” I chuckle, earning some laughs from the crowd. “Claire, I love you, and I could’ve never come to this decision without your unwavering support and understanding.”
Her eyes fill with tears as she mouths “I love you too.” Sitting back, I rub my eyes, wiping away the tears that are now falling.
“I’m just grateful,” I say. “And I hope that this isn’t the last you see of me.”
The crowd stands and erupts into applause. I allow myself a moment to take it all in and feel every feeling I’m having about the end of my career as I’ve known it. The applause settles down, and a highlight video of my career begins playing on the large screen, catching everyone’s attention but Claire’s. Her eyes stay locked on me, reassuring me from across the room that it’s all going to be okay.
“The girls keep making me replay the part where you say their names,” Maren, my sister, says over FaceTime.
“Hi, Uncle Everett!” Elsie sing-songs, popping into view over my sister’s shoulder. “Is Claire there?”
