God, I ache.
My whole body aches.
But it’s my heart that is suffering the most.
I wrap my arms around myself as I try to piece myself back together.
I can’t break. I need to stay strong. For Connor.
Everything is for Connor.
“Did he leave already?” I hear mom say from behind me. I don’t have the strength to face her. And I don’t want her to see me like this. Raw.
“You don’t have to act like you care.”
“I don’t.”
A tear falls down my cheek. I might be breaking down but my voice is made of steel. “That’s what I thought.”
“I heard what he said to you.”
My shoulders tense. “And?”
“You’re going to fight that battle, too, aren’t you?”
There wouldn’t even be a battle for me to fight if she just fucking cared. If she didn’t give up on being our mother.
I turn to look at her with disappointment. She could’ve been so much more.
“I will always fight for him. Always.”
She shakes her head. “Fight, fight, fight until there’s nothing left. The world is going to take everything from you. And you’ll be-”
“Dead, I know. You’ve said this already.” I am exhausted with this conversation. Beyond exhausted with her. She rolls her eyesat me, tsking. Then without another word she walks back to her bedroom. Probably back to another stash of drugs. And she leaves me alone, like always. Piercing another piece of my heart.
I pull out my phone and go through my contacts searching for the one person I need to hear from right now. I only hope to god that they answer.
I click on the name with shaky fingers and bring the phone to my ear.
It rings only once before they answer.
“Grace,” Oak says my name and I almost cry in relief. Hearing his voice, deep and smooth, is like a balm to my soul. I suck in a breath, not able to reply with fear of my voice failing me. “Grace,” he says my name again except this time it’s filled with concern. “Are you okay? Do you need me? Say it and I’ll be there.”
I release a shaky breath into the phone after sniffling.
“I’m coming to you.” He decides with finality in his voice.
It’s only then I find my voice. “You don’t need to go out of your way. That’s not why I called.”
“Grace,” he says my name softly, “nothing will ever be in my way to get to you.” Oh my god. My heart aches in an entirely different way. Butterflies swarm my stomach with a vengeance.
My lips tip up in a half smile. “You really meant it about not avoiding me, huh?” I lightly tease him.
“I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, the days of me avoiding you are long gone.” He pauses and swallows. Then with a vulnerability he rarely shows he says, “I may not be the best man to be in your life and Connor’s but I can’t stay away from you any longer.”
My heart swells.
And the fact that he included Connor, means more to me than he’ll ever know.
