I can't give into temptation.
I can't give intoher.
Because with Grace it will never be just one fucking kiss.
It will be a future.
And that's something I don't deserve.
A heavy sigh filled with too much emotion to unpack leaves my lips and it breaks the magnetic pull that was drawing us in.
"Oak," she says my name again except this time it's like she's trying to reach me. Not being able to look at her I keep my eyes closed. I swallow hard, my mouth gone dry. Guilt weighing medown and tearing up my insides. Then I feel her hands upon my skin. Her soft hands gently cupping my face. "Don't do this."
"Grace." I finally open my eyes and immediately want to close them. Because when I look in her eyes I see the wild desperation and longing.
I go to pull away from her but her hands cup my face harder. And I can easily break her hold but deep down I know that I don't want to.
I want her hands on me knowing that I shouldn't.
"I'm not going to let you pull away from me."
God damn. That sheer strength. Her strong will. That damn heart on her sleeve.
She's an unstoppable force.
But I'm an immovable object.
What will happen if we ever meet?
I can't let us find out.
"I'm not pulling away, Grace." It's a lie and we both know it.
"You can't lie to me in the same breath as you call me Grace."
"So I'm back to Gracie Mae once again?"
"Why are you doing this?" She asks me vehemently. "Why is it every time you find yourself getting close you pull away?"
"Grace. . ." I'm at a loss for words. What can I say when she's right?
"You aren't alone, Oak." Her eyes are begging me. Those beautiful eyes welling with tears for me.
"It's not about that."
"But isn't it?" She challenges. "You think this war you're fighting is yours alone. It's not. I'm here to fight with you. Whatever it is you are fighting against I will be on your side."
A heavy weight presses down on my chest. The aching burn worsening in my lungs. My mouth is dry and my throat too fucking tight.
My jaw clenches as my muscles turn to stone.
And I can feel the tears press at the back of my eyes yet I hold them back.
Her hands frame my face tenderly. I have to will myself to not melt in her hands.
"There is beauty in living, Oak." The air knocks out of my lungs. As if that wasn't enough she then promises me, "I'll show you how each day is a gift and not the curse you're making it to be."
My whole body wracks as if I've taken a massive blow. Her hand having a vice grip on my heart and refusing to let go no matter how much it pains me.
