“I swear to hell, Snake if you’re-”
I don’t even get to finish the sentence because Snake has my throat wrapped in his hand and he’s applying enough pressure to let me know he can crush my windpipe if he wanted to.
His hazel eyes darken to almost black as he glares lethally up at me. His lips curl up in a snarl as he threatens me menacingly, “You dare question my undying love and loyalty to Alice again I’ll crush your fucking throat with my bare hand.” He tightens his hand around my throat for emphasis. And I know his threat isn’t empty. This is the darkness; the sheer brutal strength Snake was taught at a young age. “You're my brother and always will be but she’s my fucking life, Oak. Fuck you for even questioning it.” He releases my throat but doesn’t take a step away from me.
My throat feels tight as I swallow and as uncomfortable as it is I’ve felt worse. And sure I could’ve easily wretched his hand from my throat. We could’ve fought and asserted dominance but that wasn’t the point.
Snake is disappointed in me.
“Sorry,” I apologize, my voice rough.
His nostrils flare and his eyes remain dark. “I understand you have a soft spot for her,” I open my mouth to interrupt but he doesn’t let me. “She reminds you of your sister, I get that. And she sees you as a brother she never had. You want to protect her, that’s great. But let’s get one thing straight she never needs that protection towards me.”
“I understand.” Fuck and I feel like complete shit for even doubting him. It twists up my insides.
His eyes soften. Taking a step back he lets out a sigh. “You’ve been burned before and so have I. But I could never hurt her, Oak. That would mean hurting myself. There’s no one else for me. She’s it. She’s my very reason for existing. Don’t ever doubt me again.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologize again. “My mind has been fucked lately,” I reason. Looking away from him I finish with, “Stuck in the damn past.”
“What Lana did was wrong.” Her name causes my spine to stiffen and my jaw to clench. Lana, my girlfriend who I loved fiercely. My girlfriend who I thought loved me fiercely back. But when I came back from my last tour mentally scarred and broken her love wasn’t strong enough to stick around. She found someone else behind my back and gave him the love she should’ve been giving me. I found the fucker in our bed and the only guilt she had was because she had gotten caught. “You deserved better. It’s her fault why you question love but one day a good woman will restore it. She’ll never make you question it again.”
I’m not sure that day will ever come but I don’t argue with him about it. Love as beautiful and grand as it is also bleeds with tragedy. One simply doesn’t exist without the other. Ask my very own mother. She loved my father with her every breath but what did that love give her? A husband who fucked his assistant at work while his wife was taking care of his two kids.
I’m not denying that love doesn’t exist. I know it does. I see it. I’ve even felt it. I’m just saying love for me only comes with pain. And as a man who feels the pain of the brothers he lost everyday I don’t want to feel the pain that comes with loving someone.
“What’s at Fantasy?”
Snake slides his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose. A mischievous smirk plays on his face. “It’s notwhatbutwho.”
Oh fuck me.
“Snake . . .”
Hopping on his bike he then goes through the motions of starting it up. Once the engine purrs he replies to me, “Oaky boy.”
“Who the fuck is there?” I already fucking know.
“I can’t say.”
I grumble, “And why the fuck not?”
“Because you told me not to mention her name.”
Fucking hell. I knew it. I fucking knew it.
My heart beat starts to accelerate and I hear the pounding in my ear. It’s a sweet torture because as much as I want to see her I know I shouldn’t.
“I’ll meet you back at the club house then,” I say firmly.
He laughs. “Oh no you don’t. Time to be a man and stop avoiding her.”
“I’ve been busy. I’m not avoiding her.” And that lie tastes bitter on my tongue.
“If that’s the excuse you plan on telling her you better come up with a better one because that is the worst lie I ever fucking heard.”
“Snake-”
“Not hearing it, Oaky boy. You’re coming with me and you’re seeing her.”
