“Because you are,” I huff out.
“Well you and I are one in the same that way, Oaky boy. Two sides of the same coin you and I,” he goes on and I have no choice but to listen to his idiom, “The both of us who wore masks to deal with our pain and demons. Fighting the battle with our insecurities. Both haunted with guilt.” I stay silent, my mouth set in a firm line as my facial expression remains stoic. “Except I let my demons hurt people and you let yours hurt yourself. And to tell you the truth, Oak, I don’t know which one is worse.”
“You’re not like that anymore,” I point out to him.
At that he laughs darkly. There I can see the demons in his eyes begging to be let out and wreak havoc. “I still have my demons, Oak. I still bare the scars of my father’s fists. And there are days where I just want to watch the world burn. But I look at Alice, my angel, and it quiets the dark noise. But even she understands that I have to get my hands dirty. And she doesn’t question when I come back from a job from Sticks with my hands stained red.”
“But you’re still not that same man you were before, Snake,” I argue with him. “You’re better.”
He nods his head. “I am, but that still doesn’t take away the darkness I have. Alice, she’s my light. She’s the sun, Oak. And at night she’s my fucking stars.”
“I know, so why are you telling me this?”
Snake bridges the distance between us until all that is left is a mere foot. “Because that girl out there fought like fucking hellto have you. And I don’t want you to make the same fucking mistake that I did.”
My nostrils flare but it’s the only sign of anger I let show. “I’m letting her in, Snake.”
“Then let her in more,” he tells me, eyes burning. “She’s not going to run away from the fight, Oak. You tell her what’s going on inside that head of yours because she can shoulder the weight.”
“I know how strong she is. I know how much of a fucking fighter she is. Fuck, she’s one of the strongest people I fucking know. Her and I are one in the same, Snake. We speak the same fucking language.”
“Then why are you in here? Are you punishing yourself for it?”
Before he would’ve been right.
But I’m trying to leave the days of punishing myself behind me.
I expel a long breath as the tension leaves my body. “I’m not punishing myself, Snake. That’s not why I’m in here.”
Snake looks taken aback and it takes him a moment to recover. “Well then fuck,” he says mystified. Then his smile becomes genuine and his hazel eyes lighten. He claps me on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”
My heart pounds against the cavity of my chest as I swallow back the emotions that rise in my throat.
How long has it been since someone has said they’re proud of me?
I know it’s been far too long, almost a decade, since I’ve felt that way.
Not trusting my voice I nod my head and he nods his back.
Still confused he pitches his eyebrow. “Then care to explain why you’re in here?”
I huff out an aggravated breath as the fury returns. Biting out between clenched teeth I reply, “Steven.”
Snake’s eyes flash with recognition. He then crosses his arms over his chest and widens his stance. With a smirk that’s more beast than man he asks me, “When we taking care of him, Oaky boy?”
There’s no hesitation.
Snake is ready to kill whoever I deem fit.
“That’s the problem,” I tell him, running my hand frustratedly through my hair, not caring about the blood, or how the sweat stings my busted knuckles. “I can’t fucking kill him. Not yet.”
“Why not? Fucking bastard has had it coming for playing with Grace’s and Connor’s life.”
“I know,” I agree and then add, “but if I kill him another social worker will take his place. One who will take Connor away and I can’t do that to Grace, Snake. Every sacrifice she’s made in her life is for her brother. I can’t fuck that up by killing him because he wants what’s mine.”
“We’ve killed for far less,” Snake reminds me before conceding, “but I do see your point. Either we get Pax to dig in his past or we have Dani’s brother, Nico, find a family lawyer to represent her in a lawsuit against him.”
I shake my head. “As soon as Grace files a lawsuit Steven is taken off Connor’s case and he’ll be placed in foster care. I have no doubt that she will win the case but we don’t know how long it will take. I don’t want Connor separated from Grace.”
