“He didn’t take everything as seriously as some of us did,” I murmur. My lips tip up in a half smile thinking about his antics and quips. “Most of the time we would have to tell him to shut up so we could focus on the mission.”
Grace nods her head as if she understands. The fact that she’s trying to makes my heart clench. “And you were the Sergeant, right? The leader.”
I nod my head. Words get caught on my tongue as emotions lodge in my throat.
The familiar feeling of my chest being crushed and my lungs shrinking return.
I’m suffocating.
Instead I respond tightly, “I was.”
The self-hatred returns until I can feel it eating away at me. Taking bite after bite until all that will be left of me is a hollow shell.
I feel her body lower on mine, her chest flush against my own as her hands caress my face. She forces me too look at her, to stare at her kind eyes that I don’t deserve. Eyes that look at me like I’m some sort of hero when I’m not.
“We don’t have to talk no more if you don’t want to, Oak,” she tells me gently, “I’ll never force that from you.” My muscles ease, my body becoming lax. Her thumb traces along my jawline as her other hand brushes back stray hairs from my forehead. “But I think talking about it, little by little, you’ll find it easier to breathe.”
Fuck.
Emotions swell my in my chest as my heart quickens its pace. And this, this is what it means to have someone who understands you.
Having her see the man beneath the armor, seeing the broken man inside, staying by his side, and understanding him without judgment causes a tidal wave of relief to wash over me.
Because this man, the man that I really am, the man who is afraid and broken, the man who doesn’t know how to live without pain, is the same man Lana gave up on.
The same man Lana threw away.
And knowing Grace never will brings more than relief. It also makes me feel that I’m accepted. That my feelings because of my past are valid.
That I am not disposable.
“How do you always know the right thing to say?” I ask her gruffly.
Lowering her head her lips brush against my own when she answers, “Because everything I say is from the heart.”
Needing her mouth on mine more than I need air I capture her lips and plunge my tongue inside her mouth.
Her tongue tangles with mine but she submits to me. She lets me control the pace of the kiss and dominate her mouth. And I think it’s because she knows deep down that I need to be in control.
And I do.
Because this is the only time I feel like I am in control.
My hands move underneath my shirt that she’s wearing and I groan when I feel her bare skin underneath.
She moans in my mouth as I kiss her savagely.
Wanting to see all of her I break the kiss and she whimpers. Then I raise her arms and take the bottom of the shirt and pull it over her head.
Fuck me, she’s a fucking goddess.
Her tits, large but fit perfectly in the cup of my hand are begging to be played with. Her nipples, a dusty rose, are hardened into peaks, and with her back arched she’s practically pushing them in my face.
With one hand on the expanse of her lower back I cup her tit with the other. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as her teeth bite down on her lower lip to silence her pleasure.
Not having that I move in for a kiss but instead take my teeth and pull at her lower lip. Her eyes flare open and I wink at her devilishly.
At the same time I release her lower lip I take her nipple between my fingers and pinch hard.
