While they ate, Sarah delighted in making Venn laugh—and he was always quick to do the same. Vera noticed that Finn was mostly silent. He’d been especially struggling with the inaction of the past few days, and Vera knew she couldn’t blame him. It was hard to feel powerless as they waited for the record master to finally confirm if David Holm had ever arrived at Salvation.
By the time they’d finished their meal, night had fallen. The stars winked above them, and glowing windows shed light onto the quiet streets.
Sarah held Venn’s hand and chatted happily as they made their way toward the stable. Because the street was narrow, Vera walked behind them with Finn.
She eyed the silent boy as she rubbed Rebecca’s back through the sling. “Did you enjoy the meal?”
He kicked a pebble from his path. “Yes.” The answer was far too clipped, and the tension in his shoulders was unmistakable.
“Are you all right?” she asked, keeping her words quietly between them.
He glanced over at her, his hands shoved into his pockets. “I’m fine.”
Vera sighed. “You just need to be patient a little longer.”
His jaw flexed. “And what if he’s not here? Venn doesn’t think he is.”
“Venn doesn’t know where your father is. But he’s doing everything he can to find him.”
“Is he?”
His tone made her eyebrows pull together. “Of course he is.”
“Then why hasn’t he found out anything?”
“The record master is busy—”
“I don’t care!” Finn snapped, grinding to a halt. Vera stopped with him, and she was aware of Venn and Sarah stopping as well, though she kept her focus on Finn. His shoulders were hunched, and his anger sharpened the air. “Venn has a sword,” Finn said. “He could just make them show him the logs!”
“It doesn’t work like that—”
“It should!” His cheeks flushed, and his breaths came too fast. “And what happens if he’s not here? What if he’s not in the logs? What happens to us if we don’t have a father anymore?”
Sarah’s voice peeked through the short silence. “Venn can be our da.”
Finn glared at his sister. “He’s not our da!”
Sarah recoiled, and Venn tightened his hold on her small hand. “Easy,” he said to Finn. “You don’t need to yell at her.”
“I’m not yelling!” His fists clenched at his sides. “You’re not our da, Venn. You have no reason to stay. You’re just going to leave us.”
“No, I won’t,” Venn said evenly, every word a vow.
“Well, I don’t believe you! You’re a liar.”
Vera stared. “Finn—”
“You’re all liars!Allof you! Da said he’d be back soon—and he never came back. Mama said she’d stay alive, but she didn’t. All of you lie!”
Vera knelt in front of him, her hand settling against his vibrating arm. “Finn, I’m so sorry. For all of this. For everything you’re feeling right now. But Venn and I aren’t going to leave you. You have to know that.”
The boy’s eyes were shadowed, and his nostrils flared on his sharp breaths. She saw the moment the fear cracked through his anger. The moment his breath hitched for a new reason. Tears shined in his eyes as he stared at her. “I want my da,” he finally said, his voice weakened with pain. “I want my mama back.”
Her heart broke. For all of Finn’s strength and fierce protectiveness, he was just a boy. And it was only a little boy she saw now.
She opened her arms and he fell into them, mindful of the baby sleeping in the carrier. Vera set her cheek against Finn’s hair and rubbed a hand over his trembling back as she held him. “It’s going to be all right,” she said as he cried against her. “No matter what happens, you’re going to be all right. I promise. Venn and I aren’t going to leave you.”
Finn shuddered against her, his tears falling against the side of her neck. “He wouldn’t have left us,” he choked. “He wouldn’t have left us on purpose.”
