Staring down at the hospital bed, I keep my gaze locked on Ana’s sleeping form, frightened to death that she’ll just disappear right before my eyes. I’d never known fear like it, until I felt her slip away from me that day at the mill. It’s something that will stay with me forever and I swear I can still feel her blood coating my hands, no matter how much I scrub at them, it’s still there, soaking into my pores.
Her chest rises and falls under the white sheet, the machine at the side of her pumps oxygen into her lungs whilst she sleeps. Keeping her alive, for me. I don’t remember much whilst being in the ambulance with her, except hearing the noise of the EMT’s recharging her heart, her body bouncing up and down on the bed every time that electric current raced through her system. It’s something I never want to see again.
As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Eli went back to the mill with the police to retrieve the remaining girls and women, along with the help of Cecilia to get them to safety whilst I stayed with Ana. Doctors told me they’d have to place her into a coma, to let her body heal. She had a broken wrist, fractured ribs, along with being severely dehydrated. The doctors also found third degree burns on the inside of her thighs, but the worst of all was the internal damage she’d succumbed to.
Ricky had used a scorching speculum to assault her, leaving her womb and cervix permanently damaged, and the possibility of her ever having children was very low. We never really spoke about having children, but I know without a doubt that Ana would make a wonderful mother. Everything about her exudes love and care, and the way she would always put others first before herself proves how incredible she is.
Gripping her pale hand in mine, I run my other hand through Lyla’s fur who hasn’t left the bottom of Ana’s bed since she arrived. Several times I tried to take her home, but she would just cry at the door every time I left and I couldn’t bear seeing her like that, so if being near Ana is healing her, then at the bottom of the bed is where she’ll stay. Rules be damned.
There’s a small knock on the door which has me spinning in my seat to see who it is. Eli and Cecilia enter with cups of coffee in their hands, passing one to me.
“Thanks.” I mumble, taking a small sip of the hot coffee.
“When did you last get some sleep, love?” Cecilia asks, taking the seat at the side of me, her hands wrapping round the paper cup.
When did I last sleep? I honestly don’t remember.
“I’m fine.” I start. “I can sleep here.”
I notice Cecilia tip her head to look at Eli with a look of concern across her face. I know they’re worried about Ana, and so am I, but I can’t leave her side. What if she wakes up and I’m not here?
“Dean.” Eli says, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you get some sleep and a shower? We’ll stay here with her.”
Shaking my head, I place the coffee on the table next to Ana’s bed and lean forward in my chair, bringing her hand to my lips to place a soft kiss on her knuckles.
“I need to stay here.” Murmuring against her skin. “Please.”
“Alright. If that’s what you want to do.” Cecilia says with a soft tone. “The girls are okay too.”
Her words have me turning to face them both. “Yeah? You managed to get them all out?”
Eli nods and winds his hand around his wife’s shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. “We did. Cecilia has managed to get them all into a shelter where a doctor will check over them, get them a bite to eat and somewhere safe to sleep. She’s truly incredible.” He says, his eyes beaming with pride and I can’t stop the smile that tips at the corner of my mouth. It’s hard to not copy his emotions, she really has done amazing work for these girls and women.
“Good, I’m glad.” I say with a hint of resentment. I’m glad the girls are safe, but why did my Ana have to go through everything she did? Why wasn’t she safe?
“What about Ricky?” I ask, needing to know that he’s trulygone.
“Dead. You made sure of that. We’re unsure of Nico though, I never found him in the mill.”
“He’s probably done a runner like a pussy.” I quip, trying to simmer my rising anger. He can run, but he won’t get far. I’ll find him one way or another. I’ll end everyone who was ever involved in hurting Ana.
In my periphery, Cecilia rises from her seat and wraps her arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a warming hug and I rest my head onto her, feeling all kinds of exhausted.
“She’ll make it, won’t she?” I whisper, a sense of vulnerability washing over me and I feel her nod her head, the bangles on her wrists clanging together as she squeezes my tense form.
“Mi amor,she won’t just make it. She’ll survive. That woman right there is a fighter, I can see it and you have to believe it.”
“She’ll survive.” I repeat her words and return the hug before Eli grips my shoulder again, giving it a small shake.
“Call me if you need anything, yeah? No matter what, I’ll be here.”
Nodding my head, I turn to face Ana again, gripping her hand in mine as Eli and Cecilia leave the hospital room, leaving me in silence again with nothing but the rhythm of her heart monitor beeping in the background. Tiredness like I’ve never known hits me like a freight train and I lean forward in the chair, resting my head on Ana’s hand for a moment, allowing my eyes to close for a second.
Just a minute is all I need, then I’ll be alright.
Am I alive?
Please tell me I’m alive. That I made it back home to Dean. That I’m not in that hellhole anymore.
