Ricky’s words vibrate through my ears, his hateful slurs bashing around in my brain but I continue my attack, ripping the flesh from his cheeks, feeling it gather under my nails like wet dirt. I scream and cry and thrash around in his hold.
“I fucking hate you!”
Claw.
“You’ve ruined my life!”
Scrape.
“I’ll kill you!”
The attack feels like it’s going on for hours and the adrenaline I once had quickly begins to wear off and Nico uses that chance to pull me off of Ricky, throwing me into the corner where I hit the cold floor with a hard thud, effectively knocking the wind out of my lungs. I cough from the shock and a sharp pain stabs through my chest where I bring my bloodied hand to ease the ache.
Ricky quickly clambers to his feet, his once pristine white shirtis now caked in blood, staining it in a crimson mess. His chest rises and falls in quick succession and I know I’ll pay with great pain at what I’ve done to him but I couldn’t stop, something switched inside of me and I let it take over, willingly handed over the reins and it feltgood.
“You’re fucking dead for this!” Ricky bellows in my face as he grabs me by the throat and drags me to my feet. Immediately my hands fly up to his wrists in an attempt to allow even a slither of oxygen into my lungs, my toes barely scraping the dirty floor. My lungs scream for precious air and I can feel a white haze clouding at the corner of my vision. “I’ll tear your fucking insides out and decorate this room with your intestines, you hear me?!”
His words are muffled in my ears as he continues to squeeze my throat and I can feel myself slipping away, the soft caress of death’s hands coasting over my skin.
Maybe this is my time, but I don’t want it to be. I thought I did but maybe I was wrong. I can already hear the haunting screams that will leave Dean’s mouth if he finds me dead. He’d never be able to live with himself, he already carries so much guilt from his previous job and I can’t put this on him too.
I need to stay alive. For him, for me and for us.
Fighting with everything I have, I will the milky haze away and use the last strength I have to bring my knee up to Ricky’s balls, the blow sends us both to the floor in a heap. He wails in pain and vomit quickly rises up my throat as oxygen fires straight into my lungs, the rush sends me dizzy and I fall onto my back, heaving in heavy breaths.
Everything’s a haze, so much so that I don’t even notice Nico pulling Ricky to his feet, or the moment he pulls him out of the room, leaving me alone with my stuffed best friend.
“Please.. find me.” I whisper to the room, hoping that Dean canhear me wherever he is.
“Dean? Wake up.”
“Ohhh Dean, it’s time to get up now.”
“Baby, is that you?” I ask, reaching out to nothing. “Are you home?”
Sugary vanilla and the smell of sweet fruits linger around me and I manage to pull my heavy eyes open to find Ana sitting next to me on the bed, her flowing black locks falling perfectly over her shoulders in onyx waves. The sight of her takes my breath away, every single time.
“Is.. is this real?” I question, even though I’m afraid of the answer. I don’t think I could survive if this was a cruel joke.
“What do you mean is this real? Of course I’m real.” Ana laughs her sweet laugh, then tucks her hair over one shoulder to lean down to plant a soft kiss on my lips. The sensation alone nearly kills me, it’s been so long since I’ve felt her lips on mine, the touch of her skin against me.
Her plump lips brush over mine once, twice before she deepens the kiss. Something sweet bursts on my tongue, sugaryand sour like her favourite candy and I groan into her mouth, letting her capture my voice. Keeping it for her own, for everything I am, belongs to her. She’s claimed me for her own like a thief in the night and I’ll happily surrender to her.
Ana breaks the kiss for a moment and I’m already missing her touch, my lips chasing hers, desperate to taste her again.
“Please,” I beg. “Don’t go.” My hand finds hers, like they were always meant to find each other, and I pull her to me, her soft body landing on mine, moulding together like two halves of a whole. Her ocean eyes clash with my forest greens and everything around us ceases to exist, time and space no longer matter, it’s just us two right here, and I’ve never felt more at home.
“I’m not going anywhere, Dean, you’re my home.”
“I love you. You know that right?” I ask, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I love you more than any words could ever describe. What I feel for you could move mountains and split oceans in half. It’s enough to bring me to my knees every time I look at you.”
Tears begin to well in her eyes at my words and I quickly wipe a stray tear away with my thumb.
“Dean.. I love you too, more than you’ll ever know, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m safe, because of you.” She whispers against my skin.
“I’ll always protect you. I swear it.”
“Ana!” I shout out, my body firing awake.Fuck. My chest heaves with an aching pain as I lift my sore body from the floor of the spare bedroom. I must have fallen asleep after finishing the last of the bookshelves I’ve been installing in here. Ana’s library seems to be the only thing I can focus on in between finding her, pouring every ounce of energy I have into makingthis room perfect for her.
