Today, though, it’s worse. Someone took a video of it and posted it on social media, and now hundreds of thousands of people have witnessed me belting out things I never, ever would have said without doing all those shots.
Lucien is beside me in the backseat of the SUV taking us to the airport. The itinerary in the app listed a brunch this morning at ten a.m. for close friends and family, but I wouldn’t have shown up there for anything.
Dad’s flight left around that time, and we were supposed to be on the same flight. Lucien booked us an extra day at the resort and moved our flight to evening instead of morning so I could sleep. And so we could sneak out of the resort while Audra, Kyle, their wedding party and families were at the farewell luau several miles away.
I still feel like I’ve been run over by a fleet of trucks. I can’t get rid of my crushing headache, and I haven’t been able to eat. I’m not complaining, though, because I was so stupid for drinking so much. I deserve to have the mother of all hangovers.
I’m horrified as I watch myself walk toward the dance floor on my phone for at least the tenth time in the past hour, AirPods tucked into my ears.
This time, I scroll the comments.
* * *
Absolute fucking legend!
Will someone come help get my jaw off the floor???
This is just mean. Her sister shouldn’t have stolen her man, I’m not saying that’s right. But this isn’t right, either.
That mf groom just pissed his pants fr...
OOF. They done FAFO!
Get to work, Internet. Who is this? And more importantly, who’s Lucien???
* * *
I turn my phone over in my lap, unable to even look at Lucien. After everything he’s done for me, now he’s going to get dragged into this sideshow. We should have been having more incredible sex last night, but instead, he had to talk me into sitting in the bathtub for a cold shower while I was crying hysterically about my family never speaking to me again.
It was a hellish night. He was worried at one point that I might have alcohol poisoning, but I was sobered up enough by then to assure him I didn’t have any of the symptoms.
I’ve never puked so much or felt so miserable. Leaving the resort felt like a walk of shame.
“What row are we in for the flight home?” I ask him.
I’m wondering if we were able to keep our first-class seats with the flight change, but I feel like an asshole asking.
“I don’t remember.” He takes my hand, kissing the back of it. “You hanging in there?”
I nod and smile weakly.
I said I love him. All the truths I’m afraid to say out loud came gushing out of me last night, like a fire hose with no one holding on to it.
Even though I’ve moved on, I do resent my sister saying she knew Kyle was the one as soon as she saw him. And him? He’s not even sorry. Audra has told me many times that she’s sorry for what she did. Kyle has never once said anything indicating he thinks I deserved better.
Lucien shows up for me. I didn’t realize what that was like until I experienced it. He cares if I’m comfortable and happy. He cares if people treat me badly, and he calls them out on it. Kyle’s swollen lip and black eye are proof of that.
“How are you feeling?” I ask him.
“Not as bad as this morning. I’m not used to doing that many shots anymore.”
The skin around his eye is a darker shade of purple today. He’s wearing a Crush baseball hat, a plain gray T-shirt and black sweats, and he looks good.
“My IG inbox is getting flooded,” he says.
I cover my eyes with my hand. “I’m sorry. That’s my fault.”
“Nah. I’ll warn you, though, the guys are going crazy over your speech. They’re pretty stoked.”
