It’s because of Macintire. She probably hasn’t had to look at his ugly fucking face since they broke up, and she knows he’ll be out on the ice tonight.
Usually we have light conversation while we stretch, but not tonight. She’s all business.
“Hey, Talia, I gave Suki your number,” Carter says as he walks past us. “Prepare yourself, she wants you to go out with her and Mara and Lainey. You get those three together and it’s a lot.”
There’s affection in his tone. Carter’s wife is the counterbalance to his gruffness. And he’s actually not that gruff once you get to know him. He’s just not a smiler.
“You need to meet their pig,” I say.
Talia arches her brows in question. “Their what now?”
“They have a pet pig. Darling.”
Her lips shift into an almost smile. “Darling?”
“One of their girls named him.”
“I love that. Is he one of those micro pigs?”
Carter’s note of laughter from an exercise bike along the wall is unamused. “If three hundred and fifty-two pounds is micro, then yeah.”
Talia’s eyes shift to mine, alight now. “For real?”
“It’s Leo’s fault,” Carter grouses. “He had one job.”
“Leo thought it was a micro pig, but it wasn’t,” I explain. “It was a gift to the girls and by the time they realized he was growing into a full-size hog, they all loved him too much to give him up.”
“I didn’t!” Carter calls out as he pedals.
“Bullshit,” I mutter. “He loves Darling.”
Her light mood quickly vanishes, and she cuts the stretching routine short, making an excuse about needing to help Melina with something.
I finish stretching with a foam roller on my own, Metallica playing over the locker room speakers. This is when lots of us want to be left alone, so we can get in the right mental zone.
I’m a visualizer, but tonight, instead of visualizing myself getting to the puck first and upsetting Vancouver’s offense, I’m picturing myself beating Macintire’s ass. I’m holding the collar of his sweater, standing while he’s on his knees, and I hit him over and over. My hands don’t even hurt. All I can see is his tortured expression as I break his face open.
I try to shake it off because I need to have a clear, focused mindset going into this game. I need to be in control.
On-ice warm-ups will start soon. I should sit somewhere alone and do some breathing exercises to calm myself, but fuck that. I’m going to find Talia.
She’s not in the locker room, and when I check Coach’s office, she’s not there either. I’m starting to wonder if she left when I glance into the equipment room.
She’s standing in the corner, her arms wrapped around herself and her head down. When she hears me come in, she looks up, her eyes wide, tears streaking down her cheeks.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She sniffs and stands up straight. “Hey, I just came in to grab something for Melina.”
“Yeah? What?”
She looks side to side. “Well ... she needed more tape. I don’t see any in here.”
I close the door to the room and walk over to her, my skate blades tapping on the concrete floor. “You don’t have to pretend. Macintire’s a worthless piece of shit. He’s not worth a single tear from you.”
Her eyes flood again.
“I know. I mean, I know I should know. I want to be able to watch this game like a badass bitch who doesn’t give a single fuck about him, but ...”
