CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
CAYLEE
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Iwake before Jakedoes and lie on my side, watching him.The memories of the day before come flooding back, and exhaustion settles in for the long haul.
Jake told me he loves me.
I need him, and now I realize he needs me.
What he’s been through in his life, losing his sister...my god.
When we went to bed last night, we lay talking for a few more hours, where he shared more about his past.I hate that he’s gone through all it alone, and while Jake is a big muscular guy, deep down we’re all little kids still.
I’m so angry with his parents.
How dare they do that to him?
Then again, they’re broken people with their own unhealed wounds, too.No family is perfect, but these repeated patterns can’t go on.
We all need to heal so we don’t pass the traumas on.
“I don’t want you to meet them,” Jake said last night, his shame evident.
“If we’re going to make this work, I think it’s important.”I ran my hand over his chest.“For both of us.”
His head turned.“In what way?”
“You need to show them you’re not being dictated to anymore.Not hiding their secrets.They can then choose to get help or not.”
He glanced away.“Yeah.Shit.It’s ugly, though, Caylee.”
I knew immediately what he was worried about.That I would judge him.Not want him.But I needed him to know I had much more depth to me than that.While I’d set a boundary and told him I wouldn’t accept his lack of commitment and honesty, I wasn’t going to abandon him now that he’d opened up.
After what he’d been through, I understood.
Losing his cousin, Donna, to traffickers.Losing his dad's family—his aunt and uncle—and then his sister.
It was a lot.And neither his mother nor father had gotten him any counseling or noticed how it was affecting him.
That’s neglect.
Worse, because they used him to cover up his father’s crime.
Manslaughter.
What a heavy burden.
I can see why he’d want to hide that from the people in his life.Not to mention the manipulation his parents had drummed into him over the years.Even as an adult, when you can see through the abuse, that kind of programming can be hard to face head on.
Well, I wasn’t going to let them destroy what we had together.Sure, it would be something we would have to face in our relationship going forward, but I loved this man so much.
Jake was it for me.I wanted to be the person who held his hand and saidI’ve got youwhen he needed strength.
Because we all do.
Even big, tough alpha men.
