Lucien shook his head and got up.
“I must ready myself. I have to take a walk in the garden with the two of them,” he said. As he did, Mrs. Greaves placed a hand on his own.
“Think about what I said. You need not be lonely for the rest of your days. Allow yourself a little happiness.”
He nodded, wondering if perhaps she was right. Perhaps he should allow himself happiness, even if just for a while, even if to try it on as one might try on a fresh pair of pantaloons for size.
Could he forgive himself for the past? Perhaps there could be a different future. He wanted it. He desperately did.
He sighed and went to his chamber, changing into a simple pair of trousers and a fresh shirt. When he returned to the entrance hall, Marianne reappeared. She was in a pretty lemon-yellow dress, her hair properly pinned up. She looked fresh-faced and lovely as she came down the stairs. He smiled, for the truth was he was happy to see her. He wanted to see her. His arms extended as if on their own volition, and he took her hands. She wasn’t wearing gloves, he noticed.
“I thought if we are perhaps going to feed squirrels, the gloves would be in the way,” she said.
“You must be careful. They do bite sometimes.”
“Oh,” she said. “I didn’t think of that.”
“I’ll show you how to handle them properly,” he said, and then leaned forward to kiss her cheek. She colored up at once, and the flutter in his stomach rose once more.
“Papa,” Henry shouted as he ran down the stairs. “Will you let me fly?”
“Fly?” Marianne looked at Lucien questioningly.
“He means when I hold him on one arm, and you hold him on the other, we swing him between us and then lift him up into the air.”
“I see,” she said. “Very well.”
And they did. Lucien held him on one side, Marianne on the other, and the two swung him between them, lifting him up into the air. He giggled with delight.
Once they got to the maze, the little boy let go of both of their hands and ran forward.
“I’m going into the maze,” he shouted. “It should be such fun!”
“Very well,” Lucien said, his arm linked under Marianne’s. “You have not yet been to the maze.”
“No,” she said. “But I have heard it’s quite treacherous. At least according to my sister.”
He let out a laugh. “Well, yes, she would think so, wouldn’t she? She does not seem to enjoy not being in control.”
“No, she does not. Nor does Evelyn.”
“And you?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I think that sometimes we must let outside forces take control of our lives. After all, isn’t that what adventuring is? Dashing forth into the unknown, hoping to find something wonderful.”
“I suppose,” he said.
She removed her arm from his and lifted the hem of her dress a little bit. Then she smiled at him. “Then let us dash forth into adventure.” She turned and followed Henry, who had already run into the maze.
Lucien stood and watched his wife and son disappear into the maze built by his grandfather, both of them giggling lightheartedly. He took a deep breath and then rushed in after them, feeling that perhaps Marianne was right and sometimes one simply had to let go.
CHAPTER 25
MARIANNE
Marianne rushed into the maze, her spirits lifted as they had not been in a long time. The air was cool and crisp, but inside she felt warm and contented. They had kissed. They had lain together, arm in arm. He had felt what she felt — she was sure of it. And this was not what she had intended. This was not what she had planned. But perhaps it was what sheneeded? Becoming a mother to another woman’s child had never been something Marianne had considered. Yet now it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
And being a wife—his wife? She could picture it. Yes, he was at times changeable, but who could find fault with him? After all he had endured? To have had a difficult childhood with a father who was not the most loving, and then to have had a wife with whom the relationship seemed to have been difficult as well.
