The question struck like a blade between her ribs.
“I...” Her voice failed.
“Because if you do,” he continued, voice dropping to barely above a whisper, “then you’re absolutely right. And it terrifies me beyond measure.”
The admission shattered the last of her restraint.
“Then why?—”
“Because I’m Edward’s brother!” The words exploded from him. “Because you were his wife. Because society would crucify you for it and I can’t—I won’t—be the reason you lose everything. Even if it means watching you marry someone else. Even if it destroys me.”
Silence crashed down.
Amelia stared at him, seeing clearly for the first time the depth of his torment. He loved her. The truth blazed in every harsh line of his face, in every word he’d just torn from his chest.
And he was going to let her go anyway.
The realisation should’ve brought relief. Instead, it felt like dying.
“So that’s your answer.” Her voice sounded distant. “You’d rather I marry Lord Ashbourne than risk scandal.”
“I’d rather you be happy and whole than dragged through the mud because of me.”
“And you’ve decided, have you? What will make me happy?”
His expression cracked. “Amelia?—”
“No.” She stepped back, needing distance before she crumbled entirely. “You’ve made your position clear. I’ll accept Lord Ashbourne’s suit. As you recommend. As any sensible woman should.”
She turned toward the door.
“Amelia, wait?—”
“Goodnight, Lord Redmond.” The formal address landed between them like a death knell. “Thank you for your... guidance in this matter.”
She walked from the room before he could respond. Before her composure could fracture completely. Down the corridor. Up the stairs. Into her chambers, where she finally, mercifully, allowed herself to fall apart.
She had her answer. He loved her.
And yet, he was going to let her go anyway.
CHAPTER 28
“You look like a man about to watch his own execution.”
Tobias glanced up from the whisky glass he’d been contemplating for the better part of an hour. Daniel Harcourt stood in the doorway of White’s back room, one shoulder propped against the frame with that insufferable air of casual observation that had characterised their friendship since Eton.
“That would imply there’s something worth executing me for,” Tobias muttered, returning his attention to the amber liquid. The lamplight caught in it, fracturing into a dozen miniature suns that held infinitely more warmth than he currently possessed.
“Oh, I can think of several things.” Daniel invited himself in, closing the door against the raucous laughter drifting from the main rooms. He settled into the opposing chair with the ease of long familiarity, studying Tobias with those shrewd eyes that had always seen far too much. “Self-flagellation. Deliberate martyrdom. Spectacular idiocy. Should I continue?”
“By all means. Your opinion has always been the cornerstone of my decision-making.”
“Which is precisely why you’re currently destroying yourself over a woman you won’t allow yourself to have.”
The words struck like a fist to the sternum. Tobias’s fingers tightened on the glass---the only outward sign of the internal havoc Daniel’s observation had wrought.
“I don’t know what you’re referring to.”
