And no matter what there is between us, this undefined thing hanging overhead, I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this alone.
But I can’t stay. Not even for him.
I turn back to the bed to finish packing. “Jace, I have to do this. That portal has to be dealt with. And Aegar needs a king. You’re the only one Derek trusted enough to lead. You belong here.”
He moves in front of me. “I belong wherever you are. Nothing matters as much as this. Not anymore.” His hands slide into my hair, and I involuntarily breathe in his smoky scent. “Let me keep you safe.”
“You know I don’t want to leave you.”
“Then stay. Fuck the consequences. Just be with me.”
“What are you saying?”
“Tell me not to marry her.”
My heart stops.
“What?”
He waits, knowing full well I heard his words clear as day.
“Stay with me.Marryme.”
I blink up into eyes I have known in another life. My human life. But here I am in a new world, and still, I can’t stop history from repeating.
I push him away like I did Jack.
I deny myself.
I deny him.
“I can’t.”
“You want to be with me. I know you do.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does.”
My heart lodges in my throat. “Jace, I care about you, I do. But nothing has changed here.”
“Everything has changed. You were taken, and I—” He cuts himself off, shaking his head. “I’ll go to Sorscha right now and tell her I can’t marry her.”
I take a step back, putting some space between us. “She just lost her father, Jace. You don’t know what you’re saying, you’re in shock right now. We both are?—”
“I’ve never had more clarity in my life.”
I give him a look. “You know it’s not that simple.”
“What if it could be?” His golden eyes are filled with frantic, desperate hope. He moves closer, crowding me, making it hard to think.
“This is the only thing that has ever made sense to me, and I can’t fight it any longer. I’m yours. I was yours before I ever knew it.”
“Jace, you know how I feel, but I—we can’t. You can’t.”
He dips down and guides me forward until our foreheads meet. “The only thing I can’t do is live without you.”
I give myself two seconds to savor this. Him holding me. And in those two seconds, I realize something.
