Tighter, I urge. His eyes open, hesitation lingering there.
“Don’t hold back. I want you out of control,” I breathe, starting up a rhythm.
His eyes heat. He shoots up to a seated position, one arm wrapping around my waist. The shift has him pressing against my innermost sanctuary. A ragged breath leaves me as his grip on my throat tightens, intensifying every single thing he’s making me feel. I struggle for air, but he denies me, wrenching me forward into a brutal kiss. I whimper against his mouth, unable to breathe, riding harder and faster, my nails digging into his shoulders and back, leaving tiny crescent moons behind on his skin. His hips meet mine, measure for measure, demanding I give him more, give him everything.
So I do.
I always believed that the power in any relationship lies with the person who cares the least. And two nights ago, that was me.
Now everything is different. Now I’m afraid. Because now I care so much, it’s frightening. And I’m worried that leaves me absolutely powerless—something I promised myself I would never be again.
But it doesn’t stop the confession from tumbling out as he drives into me over and over. As he delivers me to the edge of a cliff, and then shoves me over.
“Zadyn, I love you,” I breathe through the free fall. “I love you.”
* Cue:Forward to the Killby Sydney Ross Mitchell
91
ZADYN
4 DAYS
“Zadyn, I love you,” she cries, her head rearing back. “I love you.”
I come so hard I see stars. Literal, actual stars. Bleached spots dance across my vision, bursting like fireworks one after another.
My entire body—my entire soul—empties out to make room for her. I am completely hollowed out as I pulse with the aftershocks of her words, of her body still wrapped around me.
Finally, she knows what I know. What I have known for months. And she isn’t afraid. She wants this the same way I do.
I tug her down and kiss her hard enough to bruise. She whimpers, threading her arms around my neck until our naked chests are pressed together, sweat trapped between them.
I’ve thought about this so many times. Dreamt of it. But nothing could compare to the real thing. Not even my wildest fantasies.
She is…everything.
“You have no idea how long I have waited to hear you say that.”
Her answering smile decimates me and then pieces me back together.
She loves me. She fuckinglovesme.
Tucking herself beneath my arm, she asks, “When did this start?”
I twine our fingers together and kiss the top of her head. “My feelings for you?”
She nods.
“Honestly, I don’t know. You were a baby when I was summoned. My only thought was to protect you and guard you for the longest time. When you got to college and I was posing as Annie, we started spending more time together, and I got to know you on another level?—”
“I had wondered about that,” she interrupts. “Our entire friendship. If any of it was real.”
I pull back to look at her. “All of it was real. Every conversation we had was coming from a place of truth. Wewerefriends. And in that time you became more to me than someone I was bound to protect. You became someone I wouldchoose. Every single time. Even had my life not been tied to yours. The things we shared, the things you let me see as Annie just made me fall for you twice as hard.”
My fingers dust over her cheek.
“You don’t know how many times I came close to telling you everything. I didn’t want any secrets between us. That’s when I knew I was in real trouble. I hated that I had to take your friend away. I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you. You weren’t ready at the time, and I knew that.”
