I shake my head, declining. Lifting the bottle into the air, he toasts, “To jilted grooms.”
I slide him a slow glare. “Too soon.”
“Yep, I got that.” The clouds hanging overhead shift, giving way to a pearlescent moon as Max drains the dregs of the wine.
I’m grateful for his company. The truth is, I don’t know what to do with myself now. I know what I’dliketo do. I’d like to knock on Serena’s door, sneak into her room, and just…talk.
Talk?What the hell has happened to me? When did I become such a sucker?
I fall into a trance, staring off my balcony into the endless night sky, images of her drifting through my head like background music. Her face has become my mind’s default. I see her without any conscious effort. Even when I don’t want to.
“That meeting was…” Max trails off, at a loss for words.
“A flaming fucking disaster? Yeah, Iwas there.”
“As long as the old council stays on, I’m sure they’ll keep the prince in check. Zadyn too. He seems to have a pretty level head on him.”
I grunt in assent.
“Do you miss it?” Max asks after a moment.
“Miss what?”
“Being Captain.”
I look at him, my buzz already beginning to fade.
Of course, I do. Without that title and the duties that come with it…I’m lost. I have no idea who I am lately. But instead of the honest answer, I just shrug.
“Some days.”
“So what’s your plan? Zadyn seemed adamant that he didn’t want Hand. You think Eaton will let you stay on?”
“Depends,” I say, slouching back in the wicker chair. “I’ve spoken less than ten words to him and then fucking decked him when I found out he and Sorscha eloped. So it doesn’t look promising.”
“I’m sure the princess has some sway. She’ll vouch for you.”
“I’m not even sure I want her to.”
Max’s green eyes appraise me. “Are you alright?”
“Fantastic.”
“You seem?—”
“How do I seem, Max? Please tell me. Dying to know.”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so…down.”
My laugh is a bitter sound.
“If Eaton lets you go as Hand, I would gladly relinquish Captain to you.”
“I don’t want your pity, Max.”
“It’s not pity, Jace, it’s what’s right. You’re still Captain in my eyes. People don’t respect me the same way they do you.”
“Because you’re too nice.” I wag my pointer finger at him. “And you smile too much. Try being a dick, it goes a long way.”
