I lay the bouquet down at my mother’s grave, and pick a few weeds off my father’s. Then I head past the towering wrought-iron gate and stone pillars lining the path to Derek’s shrine.
The door to the crypt groans behind me, sinking closed. Sealing me in as if to say,it should have been you.
I drift past the tall painted vases of fading flowers, past the gifts and offerings left in his honor, stopping before the freshly laid marble tomb that houses Derek’s heart.
My hands smooth over the surface, cold and unflinching as death itself.
Derek’s body was burned on a funeral pyre and set loose on the river, according to our customs. But like all other kings before him, his heart—a representation of his valor, courage, and selflessness—will remain here, encased in stone, to beat eternally among his people.
“You were right.” I sigh, the echo of my broken voice shattering the silence.
“I love her. And I’m lost. I’m so lost. I don’t know what you would say. I know you would want me to make sure Sorscha was protected and looked after, and I promise you she always will be…but I don’t love her the way I should. The way she deserves.”
I swallow, my throat thick.
“I’ve never wavered in my loyalty to you. I’ve never faltered. But this is a bridge I don’t know how to cross. Just send me some kind of sign. Please.”
I tip my forehead against the tomb, locking down the swell of pain, the guilt, the sinking fear clawing at my mind, demanding to be let free. Then I push away, squaring my shoulders, and start back toward the castle.
My heart skips a beat as I step into the hall to find her waiting.
* Cue:Funeralby Phoebe Bridgers
56
SERENA
14 DAYS
My stomach is a bundle of nerves as we touch down in Aegar. My shadows rescind, folding into me as I release my hold on Zadyn. We decided to shadow walk for the sake of time, Mar volunteering to get the others back on her own. The clock is ticking, and every second counts.
But as we make our way through the brilliant diamond cave leading into the keep, I’m hit with a flood of poignant memories. We walk beneath crystals shaped like icicles, past the sparkling throne where I first saw Derek.
I think that was the moment I decided I would do whatever it took to know him. Be his servant, his errand girl, his Dragon Rider. It was never even a choice. I did it all to be close to my father in some perverse way. And it wasn’t enough.
Because somehow he managed to slip right through my fingers. Again.
I follow Zadyn through the halls, lost in a time loop, seeing things that aren’t there, fighting the bitter taste in my mouth.
Derek is dead. I have no choice but to face that now. I’m also terrified to see Jace and tell him what I’ve decided.
I meant what I said. I do plan on killing Kylian and finding thatstar, whether I do it before or after we’re married. But if this backfires, if I die trying, then I want every minute of these two weeks to be spent in Aegar, surrounded by the people I love. With Zadyn and Jace.
I want to spend them at home.
I know he’ll fight me on this, but unless he can offer me another option, this is the best defense we’ve got. And I refuse to back down.
But when he pushes through the towering doors of the hall—when his golden eyes lift to mine—it’s like a punch to the gut.
A giantfuck youfrom the universe.
He strides toward me as time slows. My heart beats out of my chest, only for him.
Get it together.
“You look…different.” I fight the urge to smack myself in the forehead at that lame greeting.
Before me is a version of Jace I’ve never seen. He’s dressed impeccably in a fitted black jacquard doublet and leather pants tucked into tall black boots. His hair is pushed off his face in a way that makes him look a bit older, his stubble slightly grown in. He’s so handsome in that severe way of his.
