“Get out,” I say quietly, turning my gaze away from him. “Everyone.”
“Serena—” Zadyn starts. I hold up a hand, cutting him off.
“Zadyn, I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want to find out what happens if I get frustrated again. Take her and get out.” My voice is cold. I don’t know why I feel deceived, but the stirring of my magic is there, and I won’t risk endangering him again.
“Alright.” He stands. “I’ll come back to check on you in a bit.”
He guides Cece from the room with a hand on her lower back. I face forward, staring at the wall adjacent to my bed. The door closes, and I think I’m alone until Jace plops down beside me.
“We should move you. It’s not good to breathe in all this smoke.”
“I’m not moving. Please go.”
“You should be thrilled right now. Instead, you’re jealous that your Zadyn slept with Cece?”
“That’s what you have to say to me right now?” I level a glare at him. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. “I’m not jealous.”
“Liar. You want him to only have eyes for you,” he muses, and before I can protest, he presses on. “He is even dumber than he is pretty. Bringing her to his bed, with you just on the other side of the door. That was a foolish mistake. And a dangerous one.”
“I’m around her every day.”
“That’s completely different. This was too close to home. It leaves you exposed. It makes him vulnerable, making youvulnerable. But Cece’s right. There were plenty of witnesses to what happened. We can talk to her—feed her some story—but the servants heard and saw too much. We’ll need to meet with the king, gather all the witnesses, and do something about it.”
“Like what? Bribe the staff to keep my little display a secret? What’s the point? People are going to find out, eventually. I just want to stop pretending.” I shift, putting weight on my glass-spiked palm. I wince as a wave of sharp pain splices through my hand. Jace takes it in his own and begins to tenderly pick out the shards. I watch him, feeling defeated.
“It will be the king’s decision,” he says mildly. “You should be elated right now. This was a major breakthrough.”
“I—”
“What.”
“I don’t feel anything. I feel numb. I wasn’t even trying to do that.”
My memory flashes back to several months ago, standing on the second floor of Tatler’s books, staring at my hands after they burned holes through the table of their own accord. It was the feeling of being completely out of control.
“That was only the surface of your power,” he says gently. “We’re going to find out what else you can do so we understand how to control it.”
My throat thickens as I glance at him. I want to lean into his shoulder. I want him to hold me and tell me I’m alright. That I’m not damaged beyond repair, and that this power is not something to fear but to master. I want someone to just tell me it will be okay. The pain of him being so close and so far away is worse than a million glass shards embedded in my skin.
“You…”
“What?” he whispers, his voice fervent.
“You look so much like someone I know.” Swallowing becomes difficult with his golden eyes searing into me.
“You said that to me once before. You were close?” His gaze flutters back to my bloody hand.
I nod. “It’s just…hard sometimes. To look at you,” I admit with a sigh. “But other than that, you’re nothing alike.”
He watches my face for a long time, then murmurs, “I would say I’m sorry about this”—he extracts another splinter—“but I’m not sorry that you finally harnessed your power. You understand why I did it, don’t you?”
“Not really.” I huff a laugh.
“I want you to be strong so that you can endure whatever comes your way. I want you to be steady and calm in the face of threat. It’s for your own good.” I stare at his fingers as they move over mine.
“Can I trust you?” The question falls out of me before I can filter it.
“Probably not.”
