“Oh my god.” I leap to my feet. “The creatures from the portal came from your home world. This confirms everything. I have to get back—I have to tell the others. Thank you, Furi.” I peck her on the cheek.
“I’ll be back soon.”
I barrel through the door,breathless after racing back with my discovery, to find Zadyn already waiting in my room.
“Where have you been?” He gets to his feet, his voice tense.
“Oh, hey, mom,” I tease, closing the door behind me. I shrug out of my jacket and toss it on the chair. “I have big news. Bad news, but big news. I went to see Furi.”
“And?” he prods.
“And she knows what those creatures were. I showed her my memories, and she recognized them from her home world. They’re called Stryga.” I sink into a chair, gazing up at him. “They’re beings who met early deaths, and their gods were too lazy to create an afterlife for them. So, instead, they created these immortal vessels to house the souls so that they would just die and be reborn in a never-ending cycle. And guess what keeps them running?”
“What?”
“The blood of the dead,” I answer, leaning my elbows on my knees. “It’s them. The Stryga are the ones who tore through the portal and killed those Guardians. They killed all those fae at the borders and attacked us in the maze.”
“There were dozens of them.” Zadyn’s brow furrows. “And these Stryga—they’re strong enough to kill a Guardian?”
“They must be.” I shrug. “But if Furi is right about them, then our wards will do nothing to keep them out. We have to tell the others. Come on.” I rise, making for the door, but Zadyn stops me gently.
“Hey, slow down,” he says, thoughtfully taking my hand. “Everyone is…mourning right now. Give them tonight to grieve. We can share what you learned tomorrow.”
I sigh, frustrated with myself. “You’re right. I hadn’t even considered that. I’m just in another world right now.”
Where is my empathy? My compassion? I’m so morally gray right now, I barely even recognize myself.
“What’s going on with you?” Zadyn asks softly, his warm brown eyes concerned.
“Nothing. What do you mean?” I sit back down, crossing one ankle over my knee, and start ripping the laces of my boots free.
“You’re distant.”
I say nothing.
“Is it Ilsa?”
“No.” I chuck off my boots and pour myself a glass of water. After a long sip, I swallow and clarify, “I mean, of course, I’m upset about her, and I’m angry that she died, but…I don’t want to talk about it.”
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Jace and Sorscha’s engagement, would it?” He eyes me incredulously.
I sigh. I knew there would be no avoiding this conversation with Zadyn, but I’d hoped he’d give me a little more time to let the dust settle before launching right into it.
“Look, if we’re going to talk about this, you need to promise not to judge me. I just need someone to listen.”
His kind eyes soften. “I would never judge you, Serena. What happened?” He takes a seat across from me and waits patiently.
So, I tell him.
I confess to what Jace and I did after I told Zadyn it was over. I tell him what we did after I bonded Furi. I tell him what a terribly selfish person I am. And then we’re quiet for a long time.
I sigh, leaning over the table, and bury my face in my arms. “Well? Am I the worst person ever?” My voice is muffled as I peek up at him.
“Not even a little. You fell in love with someone you can’t have. It will pass, and you will heal. I’m not minimizing your feelings, but Serena—” I prop my chin up, and Zadyn reaches out to brush a strand of hair out of my eyes. He tucks it behind my ear and slowly lowers his hand. “Blackbloods live a longtime. You will probably fall in love a thousand times before you find the one you want to spend forever with.”
“Don’t tell me you believe inthe one, Zadyn. When the fae live for thousands of years?”
He nods earnestly, his brown eyes searching mine. “What is a mate, if notthe one?”
