Oh, god.
I scoot my seat closer.
“We are going to find whatever did this to her, and we are going to put an end to it so it can never hurt anyone again,” I vow.
“I don’t understand how it happened. Any of it. One minute, she was right behind us, and the next... If Cece and I had noticed sooner?—”
“You can’t blame yourself, Sorscha.” I take her hands. “It’s no one’s fault.”
That’s when I notice the massive rock on her finger. I can’t tear my eyes away. She notices my distraction and quickly retracts her hands, twisting the ring around her finger.
“It’s a bit tacky for my taste, but I’m told it belonged to my mother." She glances down at it.
“No, no, it’s beautiful. It suits you.” I sit back. “I never got a chance to congratulate you.”
The words taste like ash in my mouth.
I feel like a deceitful, lying piece of trash.
“It’s not exactly how I pictured getting engaged. It was horribly unromantic. Father called me into his chambers, I signed a few papers, and it was done. I thought maybe Jace would take me somewhere private after—somewhere lovely—and get down on one knee. Propose. But I realize now that’s a little girl’s dream.” She fiddles with the ring around her manicured finger.
“There’s nothing childish about wanting a romantic proposal,” I protest gently.
“There was no proposal of any kind,” she clarifies. “It was all just agreed upon, like a business contract. The attack pushed Father to speed things along. He wants me to make heirs as soon as possible.”
“Is that—is that what you want?”
“I love being a princess—” She turns to face the mirror and begins to untangle the plaits of her loose braid. “But I’ve never wanted to be queen. I love my freedom. I love throwing parties and kicking up trouble. I love to have fun. I fear that will all come to an end when I am married with children. That kind of behavior isn’t fit for a wife and mother, let alone a queen.”
“Oh, Sorscha. I’m so sorry this wasn’t what you hoped for.”
She shrugs lightly. “I always knew this was what I wasmeant for. My worth lies in my ability to create heirs, to continue my line.”
Shaking my head, I say, “You are worth so much more than that. You are not just some machine meant to reproduce.”
I watch as she mindlessly begins applying cream to her smooth arms.
“I know I’m a disappointment to him,” she says with a heartbreaking smile. “He wished for a son. Or a daughter like you. Someone strong, smart, capable. The way you destroyed those creatures in the maze, the way you swing a sword—I’ll never be able to do that. I’ll never be able to run a kingdom, and everyone knows it. That’s why he wanted me married off to Jace or Kai—although Kai’s really no better than I am. The only difference is he’s a male. I suppose that’s why he decided on Jace in the end.”
“Don’t say that, Sorscha,” I whisper. “Never discount yourself like that. You are just as good as any male. And I know that the king loves you.”
She is quiet for a moment, contemplating something.
“It could be a lot worse. Jace is everything I could have hoped for in a match. We care for each other. He was my guard for so long. We never even noticed each other, not like that, until my father posed the idea to us. He’s not my typical type, but maybe that’s why I like him. He’s not a spoiled, privileged prince. He’s not?—”
“Kai?” I supply with a knowing smile. She shakes her head, giving a small laugh in return.
“No, Jace is nothing like Kai. He’s a challenge to me. He’s brooding and serious. He doesn’t show affection—he doesn’t showanystrong emotion one way or another.”
She lifts her eyes to mine in the mirror.
“Except when you’re around.”
My chest locks as I struggle to hold her gaze.
“Sorscha—”
“It’s obvious he cares for you, cousin.” She resumes applying her cream, working her way up her slender neck and onto her face in small circles. “You anger him. You push him. And the fact that he lets you, that you elicit such strong reactions from him, well, it says quite a lot.” She pauses, her eyes flickering up to mine with an intensity I’ve never seen before. “I don’t want to know what’s happened between you up to now. I just want to make one thing clear. I’m going to marry him. Because if this is all I can do right in my father’s eyes, then I will not fail. So whatever is going on, it needs to stop.”
