Wait a second. How—how did…
I close the letter. “How did Nonna know I was going to end up with Jenny?”
Waverly crushes her letter in her hand. “This was written two years before Lukas and I got back together.”
Dimitri reads his letter, confused. “I don’t understand. There’s no woman named in this letter, but she's very anti-Svetlana and pro-mystery person…”
“What is happening?”
Alana finishes the last of the white wine in her glass, giving a half shrug. “Your grandmothers hired me to protect the future of the family. That included future generations. Right? You can’t have kids with—I don’t feel I should be explaining this to you guys. You’re grown-ass adults.”
“Wait, wait, stop! What the hell is going on?” Lance says. “How?”
Alana almost seems bored as she explains, “Your grandmothers were very close with the matriarch of the Olympians, Rhea. Her granddaughter, Penny, one of my friends, created an algorithm to find people’s best matches. The Olympians used it for dating profiles and shit. They own fifty percent of the dating apps on the internet.”
“Wait—what?” I stammer.
“Yeah. I answered a few questions, and boom, the Algorithm found your matches. Izzy had the most. You were this close to getting a guy with that stomach-V thing, but he was addicted to cocaine. I figured, not the best option.”
New concerns wash over us. Was any of this real? Are we pawns in everyone else’s games? Izzy asks, “Was Lance even on the list?”
Alana is way too calm as she explains, “Yeah, of course he was. But you have other options. In case you get bored.” She winks at Izzy. “But you went and got yourself knocked up again, so it looks like you’re committed to Lance for at least eighteen years.”
Lance shakes his head in disbelief. “Wait. But you assigned me to protect Izzy. You set this all up from the beginning?”
Alana says nothing but nods as she shifts her weight in the chair.
Lance's eyes grow wide as he leans forward toward Alana. There’s a hushed awe in his voice, and it quivers as he fails to hide all his emotion. “You—you gave me Izzy and a family. You gave me everything. Why?”
“Because you’re my best friend, and you’re a pain in my ass, and you needed to move out. Yeah. You got everything.”
Katya jumps up. “Wait, wait, no. No. This doesn’t make any sense. You’re telling me an algorithm set up Dimitri and me? I was assigned to spy on him by the US government. That was all classified.”
“Yeah, you didn’t think it was weird that you lived next door to me? Come on. There's a bazillion apartments. What are the odds I move in next to a U.S. spy? Besides, you and Markus were never supposed to be in Russia to begin with. I mean, the system was easy to hack. Eighty-nine seconds. Then you got reassigned. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Two grandkids, one strategically placed stone.”
Her eyes drift over to the ground. “But Uri’s too terrified to make that move.” She pouts and lifts her index finger and thumb. “I’m this close to a perfect score—or at least a score I’m willing to have.”
“You arranged all of our relationships from the beginning based on an algorithm?” I snap.
“I don’t see why you’re pissed. You all interacted with others on your list. You didn’t connect with them the way you connected with the people in this room. And your grandmothers knew that. Besides, none of you were gonna shit or get off the pot. Come on. Do something. I would start by saying, ‘Thank you, Alana, for being incredible.’”
Donny’s still sitting on the floor. “Wait, what the fuck? How come I don’t have one? Everyone gets a soulmate but me?”
“I’m saying,” Alana says, “that everyone has a soulmate I’m willing to sign off on. Yours—I’m not.”
“What the fuck. Why can’t I have love? Why can’t I have happiness?”
“Because you’re a fucking child. Because you’re a trainwreck. How many other reasons? Because she’s also a trainwreck. No. The answer is a hard no.”
“This is bullshit,” Donny pouts and crosses his arms.
Even Izzy agrees. “Yeah, this does seem super unfair. Everyone else gets them but Donny?”
“How about this? You can get your happily ever after when I get mine.” She gives him a side smirk like she’s the keeper of a million secrets, because she is.
“Fine. Go out. Go get laid,” Donny says, throwing his hands up in the air. “There’s lots of hot guys out there. I’m sure you dated a couple of them.”
Waverly cocks her head. “Why didn’t the Olympians run an algorithm thingy for you?”
