Waverly is not allowed to do any of the mafia stuff, mostly because she’s too smart and, as we recently learned, far too ruthless. And Gio didn’t like bringing Izzy in, because she botched the job he gave her. It was supposed to be a goodwill gesture for a wedding, but since there wasn’t any cake, my cousin flipped out. Long story short, our kind gesture has been replaced with monthly payments for a debt we were willing to take the loss on. Now we have to launder the money, and that’s a few extra steps we didn’t want to begin with.
Gio’s been trying to bring me higher in the ranks. Nonna’s death will buy me a little time. But we both know I can’t dodge him forever. I know what he wants me to say and what must be said. Will the right words come out when that time comes?
I take my leave when the girls and their partners do, and once I’m back in my car, I find myself turning the opposite way from my condo. Is it habit or instinct that I drive back to Nonna’s house? I’m not sure why I keep coming back here, maybe I don’t like the idea of the house being empty. Or it could be soon I’ll run out of excuses to go over there. Most of my life I walked through those doors and felt like this was where I belonged. No other place I lived ever made me feel like that.
I always knew somewhere in the back of my mind that there would be a last time I would cross through Nonna’s threshold. But I’m not ready for this to be the end.
Logically I should go back to my place. Probably move the dog over there too.
When I get home, the dog doesn’t greet me like he normally does. Waves of concern hit me. Is he sick? Hurt? I head upstairs, and it’s worse—he’s sleeping in front of Nonna’s bedroom.
He wakes and blinks at me a few times, then whines a little as he scratches her door.
“She’s not coming back.” I admit for the first time.
He keeps scratching at the wood, and my chest tightens. I open the door, a little worried he’ll destroy the room or something. But instead, he curls up in a little ball in a dog bed beside her nightstand. An old wave of sadness hits me. It’s not that I forgot it, but it’s been so long since I’ve felt this particular sadness, it takes until I walk back to my old bedroom to recognize it. Grief.
I’ve never experienced the true five stages of grief. It’s more sadness, isolation, and, eventually, acceptance that nothing is forever. Not family, not love, nothing. Life is temporary. It might take a long time, but eventually everything changes or crumbles. The Four Families is no exception to the rule.
I take a shower and let more of my morbid thoughts encase me. Why fall in love when it’s only going to end? Why open yourself up to that pain? Eventually, Lance and Izzy’s relationship will end, either in divorce or death. I’m shocked Waverly and Lukas have lasted as long as they have. I keep meaning to schedule an appointment for some fresh ink with him, while they’re still together. Who knows how long they’ll last this time and there’s nothing more awkward than hanging out with a family member’s ex.
By the time I’m out of the shower and dried off, I return to my room and see Kingston curled in the center of my bed. He lifts his head but refuses to move. Fine. Whatever. I’ll work around him.
Once I get settled, pushing him over with my leg, he gets up, does five circles, and sits down next to me, resting his head on my leg. He’s warm and soft. It’s nice. He’s too far away to pet, but it’s relaxing having him nearby.
I start to doze off, not sure if I’m dreaming or my brain is filled with random things. But there’s a sound I’ve never heard before—a gag followed by a high-pitched cough.
My eyes flash open, and I move faster than I ever have before. Kingston is standing on the edge of the bed, his body shaking as he pulls in sharp intakes of air and then gasps. His ears are back, and his whole face looks green and sick.
Fuck! It’s the twenty-six treats.
I pick him up and race to the bathroom. We don’t make it.
He opens his mouth, and all the food and treats come out, half-digested. I put him down away from the mess he’s made. His little triangle ears are up and he licks my leg. Gross. Then he runs back to the bed and takes my spot, leaving me to deal with the hot mess on the hallway carpet.
See, this is why I’m better off alone.
Chapter Seven
Jenny
I stare at my ceiling until I start to see blotchy color dots floating around. I’ve replayed my conversation—correction, my screaming match with Joey all night. He was trying to do something nice, I guess. And he’s been going through a hard time. Nonna died. And he’s responsible for a dog he didn’t know anything about.
His family seems cool. Or at least they’ve been cool to me.
What did he mean when he said, “What an underwhelming experience it’s been to finally meet you.” Underwhelming I get, but what about “finally”? Did Nonna talk about me? Or worse, had he seen me at the club? It’s not like I had a reputation there or something. I hadn’t even gone very much. But logically, that would be the only other place I would’ve seen him.
Or at least he would’ve seen me.
I’m not loving this.
Still, I don’t know how I feel about any of this at all.
I think I was unnecessarily mean to him.
Maybe.
I don’t know.
