Chaos gremlin. Yeah, that sounds about right.
“And what about you? What’s your backstory?”
“I’m a mystery… And I’m thinking about dyeing my hair brown,” she adds.
“Be a mystery but dyeing your hair would be a crime against humanity, fashion, and Elle Woods. No thank you.”
For the briefest of seconds, her upper lip curls, but then any hint of a smile vanishes. “I’m going to do it anyway, but I appreciate your bravery to try to convince me otherwise. Men have died doing stuff like that.”
I shrug. “Well, let me know if you need to bury any bodies. I’ve got a place.”
“I do too. I wonder if it’s the same place.”
“Last time I was there, it did seem a little bit more crowded.”
Alana nods a few times. “Welcome to the family, Chaos Gremlin. I can’t wait to see what you do to Joey.”
Chapter Four
Joey
Thiago is playing on his phone, hopped up on Benadryl because he’s allergic to dogs. And it’s like Kingston knows, because he won’t leave Thiago’s side. Jerk-ass dog.
I haven’t decided on my vice yet, but maybe I’ll sit around here and watch Thiago break out in hives. Could be fun.
My phone buzzes. Dimitri and Uri are giving me constant updates about Donny’s evening. It’s been predictable—strip clubs, low-grade drugs, and booze. None of which are any fun to his babysitters—a single dad in a committed relationship with a former spy and a gay man trying to stay sober.
Uri: Boobs are weird
Dimitri: With that kind of attitude, no wonder you never get to touch them.
Uri: Yes, that’s the reason, not my predisposition for dick.
I hear Thiago laugh from downstairs.
Thiago: At least you’re out. Joey’s still ironing his shirts.
Me: I’m not going out looking like a savage.
Uri: Donny’s wearing basketball shorts and a jersey for a team he doesn’t even like.
Me: I rest my case.
I put my phone to the side of the ironing board and press the iron on my inside-out shirt. I wanted to know how people on TV always seem wrinkle free, so I took a deep dive into ironing styles. Most useful weekend of my life. Steam first, then iron, lots of starch and other tips of the trade I can’t remember, but I got the basics.
My phone buzzes again.
Izzy: Hey Butthead, Nonna left a letter for Jenny. It’s in her bedroom in the nightstand. There’s one in there for Alana too. I’ll take care of A’s, but you can leave J’s on the kitchen table for when she takes Kingston out. Nonna’s dog. The one she’s had for years. He’s black and white and has the cutest face. You know, the dog no one told you about. Or we did tell you, but you weren’t paying attention.
Me: Text messages are supposed to be short.
Izzy: Fuck you.
Me: Much better.
Jenny’s been on my mind as much as Nonna has been. I have a nagging feeling I met her, but I can’t place where. Maybe it’s because I passed her every day on the street and never realized it. I mean we must’ve passed each other as I was heading toward Nonna’s house and she was leaving it. Right?
Once I finish with my shirt, I shut off the iron and head into Nonna’s bedroom.
