“I’ll still hold on to you, just to be safe.” I loop my arm through hers. “And thanks for coming with me.”
She pats my arm as we walk to the gate. Each step is lighter than my last.
“We all need a little nudge sometimes. Now, you let me know if things don’t work out with Tristen. My son is still single, and I bet you two would hit it off.”
“I’m actually really happy with Tristen. I’m not sure anyone else could put up with me.”
“An old lady has to try. I want to have grandkids one day.”She lifts up her arm and frowns at her watch. “As much as I want to keep you company, I have a CR meeting in a few minutes. I don’t want to mess up my perfect attendance.”
“Is that a club?”
“Celebrate Recovery is a Bible-based support group that meets once a week. Some of us need a little more accountability to overcome our struggles. We have a variety of folks that show up—alcoholics, anger management, eating disorders, really anything that may be preventing you from your relationship with Jesus.”
“Like my AA program.” I bite my lip, thinking about how long it’s been since I last went to a meeting.
“It’s for anyone struggling. Habits can form out of anything. Like with my crippling anxiety, it manifests in hoarding tendencies. It’s been a long and difficult journey. But it’s been four years since I’ve laid my problem at Jesus’s feet. I’m not perfect, but it helps give me the accountabilities and tools to succeed. I don’t think I could have done this on my own.”
“I’m almost two years sober myself.”
“Yes, I’ve seen your transformation these last months. We’re all so proud of you, sweetie. But I know it’s still a long and hard road, and for some, that road never ends. Our temptations are scars that never truly go away but serve as reminders at how far we’ve come. The folks in here, we have been in your shoes. Fought with our own inner demons. But battles aren’t meant to be fought alone. You are more than welcome to join us.”
“Oh . . . I don’t know . . .”
“It’s a small group of us, with a few people traveling in from Golden and the new ski resort up north. They like the close-knit connection with the group. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. Just sit and listen.”
Something presses against my heart, and I feel myself nodding before my voice can catch up. “Sure. I’d love to give it a try.”
“Annabeth made her famous cheesecake bites, so you’re in for a treat.”
She tugs my arm, but my feet are rooted to the ground. My nerves tingle and doubts bubble to the surface.What ifs cycle on a loop in my head. I know they are unreasonable, but I don’t know how to turn them off.
“It’s been a few years since I’ve stepped inside a church.”
She nods and pats my hand soothingly. “The best way to fix that is one step at a time. There’s no one in there that hasn’t been in your shoes at one point or another. Maybe your story can help another alcoholic find their way to recovery too. It’s amazing how God always puts the right people in our lives when we need them.”
“Kinda like you bumping into me at the cemetery?”
“Perhaps,” she says with a soft chuckle. “And after that nudge, you were able to take that first step. Are you ready to take your next one?”
With a deep breath, I nod and follow her through the church doors.
Those weeks of meetings are what motivate me to finally sort through the boxes in my closet. Which I’m glad I did. Not only did I find some wonderful treasures from my past, but also my granny’s handkerchief. I have it cleaned and mended, and place it in a box until the day of the wedding.
I head into the bridal suite of the church, my hideous pink bridesmaid dress just as terrible and sparkly as I remember. Tracing a finger down the sequined top, I can’t help but think how different my feelings are for Tristen from the last time I had this on.
Thankfully, the dress zips without an issue, and I join theother bridesmaids in the waiting room with a dozen of Maya’s closest relatives.
Des stops in for a second, pulling me out into the hall to speak with me privately.
“Cold feet?” I joke, but I can already tell by his expression that he’d like to skip all this and get straight to the ceremony.
“Never. She’s my everything.” He takes a deep breath, struggling with his next sentence. “There was a time when I thought I had lost you. The fact that you are standing sober here today is like staring at my answered prayer. I just wanted to say that I love you. I’m proud of how far you’ve come and that you’re here to celebrate with us. I didn’t want much from this wedding but two things, to marry Maya and for my sister to be here to witness it. Thank you for being here.”
“Oh, Desi... dang it, my mascara...” I throw my arms around his shoulder, sniffling through the tears. “I love you too. So much that I brought you a gift.”
I hold out the small rectangular box and he takes it, lifting it to his nose. His eyebrows shoot up.
“It smells like Granny.”
