I smile, loving how he worships my growing body. “Mmmm,” I mumble, my head falling back onto his shoulder.
He presses into me, and I can feel his erection. “My cock likes that noise. He’s hungry even though he just had a meal not even an hour ago.”
I giggle. “There’s no time for seconds today, Trev. Are you excited to finally get back to work?”
He rests his chin on the top of my head. “Not as excited as I’ll be when the medical board comes through with my reinstatement, but yeah.”
I spin around in his arms and look up. “How long do you think that will be?”
He shrugs. “Honestly, I really don’t know. It could be months or even longer. They haven’t given me any kind of timeline or told me what hoops I’ll need to jump through. The only communication I’ve received was confirmation of my request and a promise to ‘put it on an upcoming agenda’.”
“I’m sure you’ll hear something soon.”
“Hopefully. But until then, I’m going to fully immerse myself in the job I’m starting today and be the best paramedic I can be.”
“I’ll miss you tonight.” I snuggle into his shoulder. “I know we’ve only been sleeping in the same bed for six weeks, but I’ve gotten used to having you there.”
He kisses my forehead. “I’ll miss you too. At least it’s only two twenty-four-hour shifts per week.”
“Sometimes three.”
“Okay, sometimes three. But mostly two.” He grazes a finger along my jawline. “What’ll you do with yourself now that I won’t be around all the time to bother you?”
I lean back and study him. “You haven’t been a bother, Trevor. After missing you for so many years, it’s been nice having you around full-time. Plus, now that we’re in the house—a place not directly connected to the shop—you’re most certainlynotaround me twenty-four seven.”
Now that I’ve gotten a good look at him, I can’t tear my eyes away. “You’re the one who’s sexy,” I tell him, eyeing his brand new dark blue CCFD uniform, complete with arm patches and the wordparamedicsewn onto the right upper chest. I trace the word with my finger. “I know you wore a similar uniform thirteen years ago, but… wow.”
He chuckles. “Why, Ava, are you eye-fucking me?”
His choice of words makes my insides go all melty. I shrug an innocent shoulder. “I admit to nothing.” Tearing myself away from him, I toss him a look over my shoulder. “But if you come to bed wearing that tomorrow after shift, you won’t hear me complain.”
Deep, throaty laughter dances behind me as I sashay out of the kitchen and head for the shower, a little more swivel in my step.
Wiping sleep from my eyes, I stretch out an arm to find the other side of the bed empty. I gasp and my heart pounds.Oh God, he’s gone! Memories of the funeral come rushing back and before I can stop it, I go into full-on panic, my mind pulling me back to those two weeks where I thought he was dead. Weeks when I slept hugging a pillow that had long since lost his scent. Weeks when I didn’t even want to sleep in my own bed even though he hadn’t slept there in months.
Sitting up, I see Trevor’s shirt on the chair, and reality warms my body and calms my heart rate. Then I smile, knowing he’ll be home in a few hours. I even took the morning off, planningto surprise him by being here. Needing to hear all about his first shift. Hoping this is just one more step in getting back the life we had. The life he wanted andstillwants.
It’s been six weeks. Six weeks of waking up to him every morning. Of him kissing me every night. Of us making love more nights than not.
The urge was strong yesterday to tell him I loved him before he left for his first day. But I didn’t. Even though I do. And based on what I see in his eyes, I think he feels the same way. How long will it be before we say the words?
Part of the reason I haven’t said them is the fear he’ll simply repeat them back out of obligation. I don’t want him to feel like it’s his duty to say them until he’s absolutely sure he means them.
I hear a car door shut and bolt upright. It’s too early for him to be home. His shift isn’t over. I peek out the front window and see a Fed Ex truck. I’m not expecting a delivery, so I surmise it could be something for Trevor’s parents. We still get some mail for them from time to time.
An hour later, after breakfast and a shower, I finally open the front door and retrieve the package, ready to add it to the pile of mail we save for Chuck and Dawn as some still finds its way here instead of the apartment. But this box is rather large. And when I look closely and see who it’s from, a hand comes to my chest.
It’s Trevor’s things. The military finally found them.
We were told long ago that between the mix up at the hospital and all the red tape, it could take a while for his belongings to get here. I guess I just sort of forgot about it. But now, after I manage to carefully push the large box inside, I sit on the couch and stare at it, knowing everything from his past is inside.
Will he even want to go through it?
I’m not sure he will. He’s made it perfectly clear that this new version of him is who he wants to be and any remnants of the past is just that… the past. We took care of that when we actually did burn all those old letters he’d written to me.
We took them out to our tree and lit the box on fire, watched it burn, then made love under a thick blanket, just like we used to when we were sixteen. It was both an ending and a beginning. A catharsis we each needed to let us move forward. And everything since that day has been pure bliss.
Will this box change that?
