I look around the large kitchen that’s three times the size of the one in the apartment. “Well, I’m not sure I’ll ever get used tothis. I still can’t believe how generous your parents are.”
Slipping out of his arms, I get two plates out of the cabinet and spoon eggs onto them. Trevor gets the toast and the butter, and we sit down to eat.
Both of us have come to love Tuesdays. It’s my one and only day off. When he was overseas, I’d often end up at the shop anyway, wandering over after any errands I’d needed to run because there just wasn’t anything else to do. But now, with Trevor home and not working yet, we’ve spent the past few Tuesdays holed up in bed—the first one at the apartment, the second in our new home, and that brings us to today.
“What should we do today?” I grin as if he might have forgotten what today is. “It’s pretty nice out. We could hike the trails. Or we could?—”
“You know exactly what we’re going to do today,” he says, scooting closer and putting a hand on my newly burgeoning belly. “So, eat up. I can’t wait to see her live and in person.”
“Oh, that. Right.”
His eyes roll. “Stop it. I know you’re at least as excited about seeing her as I am.”
I can’t help my smile. “You’ve got me there.” I take a bite of toast, studying him. “Are you really that excited?”
He looks lost in thought for a few long moments. “You know what I said a minute ago about not getting used to doing normal stuff?”
I snicker. “Normal shit is what I believe you said.”
He smiles and wipes a crumb off my lips. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what’s happened to me. When I woke up in the hospital in Germany and they told me I was that James guy—no wife, no kids, no real family except a sister I hadn’t seen in a while—I was torn between feeling relieved that there wasnobody to remember, and feeling sad that there was no one out there waiting for me.”
Tears clog my throat. It happens every time I think of him waking up in that place alone, so far away from home, not knowing who he was.
“I’ll be honest with you, Ava. When I found out I had a wife, parents I was close to, friends I did stuff with, not to mention when I found out about the baby… I felt burdened. On some level, I wanted to be the loner guy without any ties to anyone or anything. It sure as hell would have made things easier. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but?—”
I squeeze his arm. “But we promised we’d always tell each other how we feel.”
He nods. “I haven’t told you about the man I met when I was at Carter’s cabin.”
“The father of the baby you delivered?”
“No. The guy who owns the hole-in-the-wall grocery store. His name is Butch. I’ve thought about him a lot since I got back. He’s this old guy who has nobody. No wife. No kids. Barely any friends based on what he said. The only thing he had going for him was that crappy little store.” His head shakes, and then he stares out the front window pensively. Before he continues, he takes my hand. “I could have been him. If I’d been James and not Trevor, I could be that guy.
“Butch served overseas, a long time ago. Vietnam most likely. I guess it really did a number on him. Said it was why he never got married even though he had a girl. He didn’t want to burden anyone with his messed-up head.”
His eyes close briefly. “Ava, I could have been him. I was serving overseas. And I sure as shit have a messed-up head. But I’mnothim. And that’s pretty much because of you.” He touches my belly. “And her.” He looks around the house. “And myparents. And basically this town. So while I may have thought of all that as a burden before, I’ve come to see it as a blessing.”
He wipes the tears streaming down my cheeks and pulls me onto his lap.
“I may not remember you, or any of it. But I know now that I’m damn lucky to have all of it.”
I swallow and kiss him with salty lips.
“I thought it was the baby you delivered that flipped some sort of switch.”
“I did too. And that was part of it for sure. Let’s just say running away to that cabin was a horrible thing to do to you, but somehow, it was also the best thing for us. Because it got my head out of my fucking ass.”
Giggling at my gorgeous, scruffy, semi-dangerous, trash-talking man, I shimmy once on his lap, then slide off. Because we have somewhere very important to go.
Trevor’s eyes are glued to the ultrasound screen as Dr. Russo works the transducer over my lower abdomen.
“Ahh, there we go.” She hits a button on the keyboard and thewhoosh whoosh whooshsound of our baby girl’s heartbeat fills the room.
Trevor squeezes my hand.Hard. “I’d forgotten how fast fetal heartbeats are.”
“It’s perfectly normal,” Dr. Russo says. “Everything I’m seeing tells me Ava is experiencing a textbook pregnancy. See here.” She points to a spot on the screen. “The baby is kicking. Did you feel that?”
I shake my head. “No.”
