I feel tears building. “You don’t know that.”
He grabs my hand and pulls it to him. “Ava, I wouldn’t be mad. Amused maybe. Listen, I should have told you this earlier when I came back, but obviously we’re both having doubts about what we can and can’t say to each other. What happened in this bed yesterday wasn’t about what happened with that guy downstairs. Idohave feelings for you. They might not be exactly the feelings you were hoping for. They’re more like the new and exciting feelings you get at the start of a relationship.” He swipeshair from my brow. “They’re kind of like the feelings you wrote about in your diary. How my heart races when you walk into a room. How I find myself fighting a hard-on every time I hear your voice. How your laugh has a magnetic pull on me. Shit like that.” He squeezes my hand. “Remember how you told me that I’m lucky in a way because I get to experience things again for the first time?”
I huff through my nose. “Yeah, and you bit my head off.”
Guilt flashes across his face. “Just another thing I need to apologize for, I suppose. But you were right, Ava. I am experiencing everything for the first time.” His head shakes in amazement. “Sex with you was… well, it blew me away. It was incredible. And how many guys get to lose their virginity twice?” He smiles. “With the same girl.”
I smile back. “I’m glad it was with me. I’m not sure I could take it if you’d gone out and slept with someone else.”
“The thought never crossed my mind. Even as frustrated as I’ve been, there’s been this draw. Maybe somewhere deep inside me, I know who you are. Whowewere.”
A tear slips down the side of my head. “I like to think so too.”
He wipes my wet temple. “You really are beautiful, Ava.”
I sniff. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
He scrapes a finger across his scruff and smirks. “So you don’t mind this?”
I crack a smile. “I kind of like it.”
It’s another lie. I really like it. Iloveit.
He scoots closer and stares into my eyes. Fireworks ignite in my belly at the heat between us. And I realize he’s not the only one who gets to experience new things. Because everything with this Trevor is new.
When his lips touch mine, it’s a soft and supple kiss. It’s not demanding like yesterday. It’s careful and easy, and unchallenging. Which makes it almost disappointing.
He pulls back. “Show me how we used to do this.”
“No.” I shake my head. “If you try to be someone you’re not, this won’t work.”
“Are you giving me carte blanche to do whatever I want? Because, Ava, the things I want to do to you right now…” He pushes me flat on my back and climbs over me.
When I bite my lower lip, he groans his appreciation, then lightly traces my lip with a finger.
“Let’s promise to always tell each other what we’re feeling, even if we don’t think it’s what the other wants to hear. I think it’s the only way this will work.” He leans down and skims his tongue under my ear. “And I really want this to work. So no more holding things back, okay?”
“Okay,” I say breathily, even though it makes me a liar. A traitor. A horrible excuse for a wife.
But now is not the time for monumental revelations. Not when the heat between us is scorching through my sleep shirt. I’m going to stick with the original plan, because right now I can’t think of anything else but how his hand is slipping under my shirt. How his eyes are revering me. How his breath is flowing over my ear. How my body is reacting to his.
Our hands are all over each other, and before I have a chance to overthink anything, my shirt, his pants, and our underwear are being tossed to the floor. My craving for him only deepens when I realize he smells like the old Trevor. He must have showered before bed, using the same body wash and shampoo we’ve shared for years. It’s like having both of them together at once. That realization has my body thrumming with desire. Buzzing in anticipation.
He doesn’t hold back, doing all the things he did to me yesterday and more. Because this time, his mouth travels down on me.Allthe way down. He kisses my thighs, the inside of my knees, my ankles. His scruff tickles then becomes abrasive.It heightens my arousal and has me reeling. By the time he’s settling between my legs, I’m practically begging him to put his tongue on my clit.
He stops and looks up at me. “Do you want me to do this, Ava?”
“Yes,” I say with zero hesitation.
“Then say it.”
I’m shocked. I’m embarrassed. I’m utterly turned on. But I’m too shy to say the words.
“Ava,” he commands in a sultry, deep, throaty voice I’ve never heard before. “Tell me what you want from me.”
I press the back of my head into the pillow. “I want your tongue on me.”
He squeezes my outer thighs. “Where do you want it? Tell me.”
