“Then man up and do things guys do when they’re hot for a woman.” He laughs. “Or did your damaged brain forget how to dothatstuff too?”
“Oh, now you’re making jokes about my injury?” I say sarcastically.
He chuckles. “We’re friends. That’s what friends do. Friends are also allowed to tell each other when they’re being obtuse. You do remember what that word means, right?”
I roll my eyes at him, not bothering to respond.
“All I’m saying is that you could have a good thing here if you want it. Maybe just quit walking out when things get hard.”
Everything he’s saying is true. And it makes me feel even guiltier for leaving the way I did.
“Were you always there to give me a swift kick in the ass when I needed it?”
He doesn’t laugh at my joke, he just scoffs, turns, and says over his shoulder, “You never needed one before, Trev. Later.”
Istare at the darkened coffee house across the street as I wolf down my dinner that consists of another heaping helping of that amazing bacon mac-and-cheese. My eyes shift up to the apartment, where the lights in the living room shine brightly. I catch a glimpse of Ava when she walks through the room.
I think of everything Carter said as I contemplate my next more. Then I pay the bill and run one more errand before climbing Ava’s stairs. This time, when I reach the top, I knock. Because after how I left things, I’m not entirely sure I’m welcome.
The door opens and Ava stares at the bouquet I’m holding. I extend my arm, handing it to her. “I know I’ve said it a dozen times before, but I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t say anything, but she does accept the flowers. Then she leaves the door open when she takes them into the kitchen.
I follow behind and watch from the doorway as she gets a vase from the cabinet over the refrigerator, fills it with water, then cuts the cellophane from around the flowers and arranges them. Finally, after what must be minutes, she turns, her backside leaning against the counter, legs in an open stance as if indicating she’s ready to listen. And she waits.
She needs more than just anI’m sorry.Hell, she deserves it.
“I really am sorry, Ava. Again. I seem to be saying that a lot lately. I’m not even sure I can blame my behavior on the TBI. I think we could have something here. I want to try. But I do need to know if me being the way I am would be enough for you.”
Her arms cross over her body. “And I need to know if you being here is simply out of obligation.”
“I really don’t think it is. But I guess we both have a lot of shit to figure out.”
She stares at me oddly.
“Okay, I have to ask. Did Inevercurse before?”
“There are a lot of things you do now that you didn’t do before.”
“Like what?”
As she lists them off, I try not to get pissed, because I did ask. But all of this falls under the ‘can you accept me as I am’ category. So while it does upset me, I once again try to put myself in her position. She has to get used to an entirely new me while I’m starting from scratch without any expectations of her. I’m not the one risking feelings of disappointment here, she is.
My eyebrows hit the ceiling when one of the things she says is that I make love differently.
“Wait,” I say, stopping her. “I don’t fuck the same way?”
She winces. “We neverfucked, Trevor. We made love.”
So many angry words are on the tip of my tongue right now. Is she seriously dissing the way I was in bed? That’s something any man would take issue with, right? But I need to rein myselfin. Most of those words might have her tossing me out on my ass.
Do better.
I run a hand across my jaw, and then look at my palm, remembering she said this was one of the things I never did before. I search my brain for something non-confrontational to say. Because I get the feeling saying something like‘well, your two orgasms sure as hell prove how much you liked it’might earn me a slap on the face before she shoves me back out the door.
Instead of going on the defensive, I take a completely different approach. I push off the doorway and stroll slowly across the room. Trapping her against the counter, one arm on either side of her, I raise an authoritative brow. “But did you like it?”
She swallows hard as she gazes up at me. And damn it if a blush doesn’t sweep up her face.
