Her breathy words have my fingers working harder, jackhammering in and out and then searching for her g-spot. With my mouth back on one of her breasts, I graze my teeth across her nipple. I must do something right, because her hips buck wildly, she fists the sheets, and then she comes spectacularly, falling apart right before my eyes.
And, holy shit. If I thought she was beautiful a minute ago…
I’m about to blow my load all over her thigh. Talk about emasculating. I don’t even consider letting that happen.
Before she even stops shuddering, I’m hovering over her, elbows on the bed, driving myself deep inside her. “Fuuuuuuuuck,” I mumble into her shoulder.
I know I’ve done this before, but it honestly feels like the first time. I might as well be my sixteen-year-old self discovering all the magical qualities of the female body. Was it this good back then? Could it have been? Not a chance in hell.
“You feel so damn good.”Pump. “The way your pussy squeezes me.”Pump. Pump.“Fuck, Ava, this is amazing.”Pump then bite her nipple. “How you came when my fingers were inside you.”
She mewls loudly and her legs wrap around me so tightly I’m lifting her off the bed every time I pull my hips back. She makes more sexy noises, digs her nails into my biceps, and drops her head back. Is she going to come again?
In an attempt to make myself last longer so I can have an answer to that question, I go over the tracheotomy in my head.Oddly, though, the thought of it doesn’t seem to wane my sexual excitement. It does the opposite, amping up my adrenaline.
When Ava shouts beneath me and her walls pulsate against my cock, I thrust one last time then stiffen, coming hard inside her.
I collapse onto her, breathing heavily into the pillow under her head, knowing that in the last thirty minutes I’ve figured out exactly what I want to do with my life. Practice medicine and fuck Ava.
When I roll off her and brush aside a chunk of sweaty hair covering her eyes, I’m surprised by what I see. I thought she wanted me. Wanted this. But her gaze is a bit thorny, as if I’m a stranger in her bed.
“Ah, shit.” I rise on an elbow. “Tell me I didn’t just take advantage of you.”
“I wouldn’t have let it happen if I didn’t want it too.”
“Well, it was amazing. Were you always that responsive?”
She shrugs and tugs the blanket over her despite still being sweaty.
“Ava? Everything okay?”
She pastes on a smile I’m not sure is genuine—there’s no dimple—but I try to accept it at face value. Is this how women react after having sex? Is this how she’s always reacted? How can I not be sure?
I settle back into the pillow, not wanting to just get up and leave. “Patrick is going to help me re-certify as a paramedic. And I’m going to look into what it will take to be able to practice medicine again as a surgeon.”
Nowshe’sthe one perched on an elbow. “So that’s what this was all about? You were on some kind of high from cutting that guy’s throat open and you needed an outlet for the fire that ignited inside you?”
She looks sad. Upset that maybeshewasn’t the catalyst for our lovemaking.
I feel about two inches tall. But I’m not sorry it happened. Maybe this needed to happen. Like Carter said, we needed to rip off the Band-Aid.
“I have to know,” she says with eyes that have become distant. “If you’d walked in on some other naked woman, would you have reacted the same way?”
“Of course not.”
“Are you sure?”
I blow out a long, distraught sigh. Because Iwantto be sure. But all of a sudden, I’mnotsure. Because I’m still trying to figure out who the hell I am. And until I do, I can’t be sure of anything.
She climbs out of bed and pulls a robe off the chair in the corner, wrapping it around herself and tightly securing the tie as if it’s a barrier between us.
“You need to figure out if this is what you want, Trevor.”
“I do want it. I mean, I think I do. Ava, it’s not that cut and dried. Until my memory comes back, I just don’t know. But I want to try.”
“You want to try what?”
I wave a hand around. “To figure this out.”
