“Did you enjoy the kiss?”
He snorts laughter. “I’m a guy. You’re an attractive woman. Of course I did.”
“You remember how to kiss.” I leave out the part about the kiss being different than before. I thought it was because everything was coming back to him. Now I know it’s because he has no idea how we used to kiss. I cock my head. “Oh my god, did it feel like your first kiss?”
His brows bunch together. “No, not really. I know how to kiss just like I know how to drive, even though I can’t remember the first time I did either.”
“Hmm.” I crack a smile. “Do you think you’d like to enjoy it again, you know, in the future?”
“One day at a time, Ava.” He shrugs. “But, yeah, maybe.” He leans against the tree. “My turn for a question. Was it the same as before?”
I shrug, not wanting to make him feel bad with more details he probably doesn’t want to hear. I raise a hand and run a finger across his jaw. “This is different. Your beard tickled me. You never had one before. But I think I could get used to it.”
He looks beyond me to the box near the trunk of the tree. “What’s that?”
“It’s my memory box full of your letters and an old diary of mine. You started writing letters to me when we were dating. It was so romantic. You kept it up through college and med school and when you were overseas.” Suddenly, I get a brilliant idea. I pick it up and hold it out to him. “You should take it. It’s basically a memoir of our lives together.”
His head shakes vehemently and he looks at the box like it’s on fire. “Ava, I’m already on information overload. Baby steps, remember?”
I put the box down, feeling like he’s rejecting me right along with the letters.
“Okay.” He sighs, looking like he feels guilty about my reaction. “One. One letter. You pick.”
It’s not exactly what I’d hoped, but it’s a start. I take the lid off the box and sift through them, looking for the perfect one.
What am I thinking? There is only one choice. I pick up the first letter he ever wrote to me. The one that started my collection. The one I’ve read so many times it’s practically disintegrating.
Hopefully… the one that shows him why he chose me. And why he should choose me again.
Chapter Fifteen
My Sweet Ava,
Today you gave me the best gift a girl could ever give a guy. You gave me yourself. You made me a man and you became a woman. It’s a day I’ll always remember for as long as I live.
People say we’re too young to know what love is. But those people… they don’t know us. They don’t know how I fell for you the second you walked into my geometry class and solved the equation nobody else could solve. You were smarter than anyone I knew, and that’s the moment I knew I’d have to kick ass in school just to keep up with you. They don’t understand the electricity between us every time we’re in the same room. And there’s just no way they can be inside my head and get how my heart pounds, my pulse races, and my stomach flips over each and every time I see you—even after all this time.
It’s stupid to think I’ll ever give you this sappy love letter. But I had to write this stuff down because my head is exploding. So I’ll just put it all out there knowing you’ll likely never read it.
I love you, Ava Hollingsworth. I know you know this already, you’ve known since we were thirteen and I promised to always take care of you. But I swear I’ll tell you every day for the rest of our lives.
I love the way you look at me when I talk, like I’m the only person in the room and what I have to say is the most important thing you’ve ever heard.
I love the way your hand fits perfectly in mine. And how, without even thinking of it, our hands always find each other’s.
I love watching you walk across a room and the way your hair bounces across your shoulders.
And don’t even get me started on your smile. I love how you have this one particular smile that’s just for me. Like you save it for when we’re together, just the two of us. It lights up your face. It lights up my face. It lights up the whole world. It brings out the dimple in your left cheek, which I find incredibly sexy. And every time I see that smile, it makes me feel special. You make me feel special.
I love the way you treat people. You’re so fair and kind and never pass judgment. Those are rare qualities for anyone, let alone a teenage girl. I know you’d call mecrazy for even saying it, but you’re going to make a great mom one day. And mark my words, the kids you’re going to have—they’ll be mine.
That’s how much I love you, Sweet Ava. There’s not even a choice as to us ending up together. It’s like it was predetermined by the universe. Or fate. Or God or whatever. It’s going to happen. We’re going to get married, have kids, maybe a pet or two, grow old together, and then die in each other’s arms when we’re old and gray and have lived a wonderful life.
My friends would call me whipped, or worse, if they knew I’d written this. But I don’t care. It’s how I feel. And if I ever start to forget it, I’ll dig this letter out of my sock drawer and remind myself why I chose you. Why I love you. Why I could never look at or be with another girl. Because I’m yours and you’re mine.
I’m going to bed now, but I doubt I’ll get any sleep. I’ll be replaying today over and over in my mind. Remembering every single detail. Burning them into my memory so I’ll never ever forget.
Are you at home in your bed doing the same thing? I think you are. That’s how well I know you.
