“But you should cut her a break. She loves you. You have no idea just how much.”
“You’re right. I have no idea. Aboutanyof it.”
“I don’t want to overwhelm you more than you already are. I’m here if you have questions or if you need to talk. Or even if you just want to work on the car. But I do need to say one thing. Your relationship with Ava is one I’ve always envied. The way you two are with each other is what I hope to have some day.”
“You’re not married?”
He cackles. “Not even close. The only person I ever wanted ran out on me when our son was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.”
“You have a kid?”
“Not justakid, thebestkid. He’s fourteen. And damn, he’s the best thing in my life. But between him and the shop, there’s been no good time to get into a relationship. Not to mention I know almost every single woman in this town, and I swear none of them are worthy of being a parent to my son. But I guess that’s just me being the overprotective dad.” He narrows his eyes. “Not to add fuel to the fire, but did you know you and Ava tried for a decade to have kids?”
“So I’ve been told.”
“You’re great with kids, you know. You helped me a lot with Christian. And you’re always willing to hold Regan and Maddie’s kids, not to mention you don’t balk at changing diapers. You and Ava were really torn up when you sank all your savings into IVF last year and it didn’t happen. You were going to explore adoption and sperm donation after you got home.”
“I think it’s a blessing in disguise. Can you imagine me having a kid I don’t remember? Someone calling me Dad who I have no emotional connection with? Who I feel nothing for when I look at them?”
He sighs. “Are we still talking about kids? Or Ava?”
I down the rest of my drink. “She’s beautiful. And nice. And smart, I guess. But the same thing could be said about every woman at Dawn and Chuck’s house today.”
He gets the bottle off the floor and pours me another small shot. “Hey, think of it this way, if you hook up with her, it’ll be like it’s the first time.” A smile creeps up his face. “Ah, shit, you probably don’t even remember what it’s like to have sex, do you? Brother, if anything good could come out of this, it’s being able to experience fucking again for the very first time.”
I almost choke on my drink. “Ava said something like that earlier.”
“About having sex?”
“About experiencing things again for the first time.”
He smirks. “She was definitely talking about sex. Dude…” He gives me a cocky grin. “Do it. Rip off the Band-Aid.”
“It wouldn’t be fair. Especially if we don’t end up together.” I look out the window at a wall covered in tools. “What if I don’t get my memory back and we find we’re no longer compatible? I mean, I don’t even know her. And she might not even want me anymore if I can’t remember anything about her or us.”
“Hey. Trevor. Look at me. You’ve been together since you were in middle school. Relationships like that don’t happen every day. You guys are soulmates or whatever. Even if you don’t remember that now, I have to believe there’s still something there. Deep down, your subconscious will know it.” He swallows the rest of his drink. “And honestly, if you two can’t find your way back to each other, there’s no hope for the rest of us.”
Guilt assaults me as I realize how unfair it is to assume she wouldn’t want me, or me her, after only a few days of us being around each other. My life is confusing as shit, and it’s causing me to jump to some unfair conclusions. I need to sit back and let the dust settle.
“I guess I should go find her and tell her it wasn’t her I was running from. It was just… all of it. But I don’t know where to look.” My head falls back against the seat. “I don’t even know where the hell I live.”
“You need her number?”
I pat my empty pockets. “I don’t have a phone.”
He pulls his out and sends a text, immediately getting one in return.
“I can take you to her.”
“She’s not still at Dawn and Chuck’s is she? I’m not sure I could deal with that crowd.”
“Nope. Not there.” He gets out of the car, puts on his coat, and digs in his coat pocket. “You’ll want these.” He hands me a pair of heavy gloves.
“Why? Where exactly are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Chapter Fourteen
