"Well, goddamn! Let me get my pants on for chrissake! I ain't going to no hospital in my underpants!"
She reappears in fresh pants. "Now, who's coming with us?" She asks, clearly through a contraction.
Cassidy raises his hand.
"Darlin', I love you and all, but can you kindly get your dang head out of your ass? Of course, you're coming!"
"Sorry, love." Cassidy says sheepishly. "I just wasn't sure."
"Fine. Now someone go get me a goddamn sandwich, because I am not pushing this kid out on an empty stomach, and I'm damn near starved!" She says, through another contraction.
I murmur to Levi. "Um, am I the only one that's noticing how close the contractions are?"
He slides his hands in his back pockets and speaks through a sigh. "Um, no, baby, you are not. But I don't think that anyone is brave enough to argue with this one."
Jade and Piper have already darted into the kitchen. I follow them, grabbing the stuff to make the sandwich in record time,while I watch both of them looking over towards the living room, where Crystal is. I can only imagine that she's having more contractions.
Just as we bring her the sandwich, she's halfway through bellowing. "Where are we on that food???!"
How the hell she eats through a labor pain I have no idea. But I watch that sandwich disappear in about three minutes, as we try to look busy, since she screams at us for staring at her. "What am I, a fucking unicorn?!"
"No, no, you're not, darlin'." Cassidy says, speaking to her and taking her empty plate as though she's an alligator just ready to snap his arm off. He actually backs away the second that he has the plate in his hand.
She screams, and I can see the veins popping out of her neck. "Okay, let's make tire tracks, people! Every man for himself!" Cassidy says, as he picks Crystal up and carries her, kicking and screaming, to the truck parked outside. It's a small town, so eight of us pack into Cassidy's truck, which is the closest to the road. All the sheriff has to see is that Crystal's about to spew this kid out in the middle of the goddamn street and he'll let us go, even though we're packed in here like we're about to go to a tailgate party and the bed of the truck is a converted pool.
Wyatt has the sense to call the hospital on the way, and alert them that we've got a woman in active labor, who is just about ready to deliver any second. Two nurses are waiting for Crystal, with a wheelchair, and they wheel her in, practically running, with Cassidy in tow. It's like a bloody cartoon. Billy rakes a hand through his hair. "Jesus Christ, that was close."
Jade and Piper have gone in with Cassidy as well, so it's just the boys and me. "It sure was. She must have been in labor for a while and didn't know it."
Levi's eyes bulge. "I thought I was going to have a stroke when she wouldn't leave without eating first."
Billy adds. "Well, I imagine delivering a human baby isn't much different than delivering a calf."
Levi snorts. "I don't see Crystal letting us bring her baby into the world from the stable."
"She'd kill us all first." Wyatt interjects. "Hey, anyone up for coffee or some food? Hospitals make me nuts."
Everyone shakes their heads no, so he waves them off, and still goes. Alone. "Why don't we go and have a seat." Levi says to me.
"I'm too anxious. I think I'll just walk."
He comes with me but tells Billy to send us a text message if he hears anything while we're gone.
We walk and walk, saying nothing, just holding hands. We're outside, getting some fresh air, and when we return, Billy and Wyatt are standing up, and they see us and smile. "We have ourselves a new baby girl." Billy announces proudly.
I can't help the smile. "Already? Oh my gosh?"
"Yeah, she came out fast." Wyatt states.
"And Crystal is okay?" Levi asks.
"She's fine. We can go in and see her in a few minutes. Piper was just about to burst. She had to come out and tell us right away." Billy states.
"Well, let's go wait in the hallway." I suggest. "We've been around the hospital for a couple of rounds. We know our way now."
"Sure. Sounds good." Billy says, as we walk, single file, down the hallway, to the maternity ward.
I've never seen anything like it. Crystal is sitting up in bed, holding a little bundle, while Jade and Piper stand over her, one on each side, mooning over the tiny baby. Cassidy is next to Piper, rubbing Crystal's legs.
