"Jesus, Laz. Why don't you just hang a sandwich board on your body that says 'gay and available'?" Shelly chuckles. "Although, with that outfit, there really is no need."
The man, who I'm assuming is named Laz, seems pleased with himself. "And the designer rests humbly in his grave."
"Designer?"
Laz waves. "Oh, honey, you know that I don't wear anything that doesn't have a label."
In the distance, I see Levi approaching the food truck. He waves to Shelly. I shrink further into the hillside by the pond, but I make sure that I can still see what I need to see. Levi calls out to her. "Y'all want something?"
Shelly calls back that she wants a coffee.
Levi gives her a confused look. "Um, isn't that bad for, um?" He gestures to his stomach.
Shelly shakes her head, while her friend stops, freezes, and his eyes bulge open. I can see Shelly pushing her foot on top of his, in a gesture I'm guessing is for him to keep quiet. "No, I don't want anything. I'll see you later."
Levi walks away, seemingly dumbfounded.
Shelly removes her foot and pushes her hand over Laz's mouth. "Shut up. I swear to God."
Laz nods as she removes her hand. "Girl, are you pregnant?" I can tell that he's talking softly, since the veins in his neck aren't popping out.
I'm shocked. Why hasn't she told her friend that she's pregnant, if she announced it to an entire restaurant. Something doesn't add up.
"No. But I need you to play along, because it's part of my plan."
My stomach drops. I have to stifle a gasp. Like she did with her friend a moment ago, I place my hand over my mouth, shrinking further down into the slope of the small hill.
"What plan?"
"Like the one I had with Greg. Only this time, we're not getting married for money, I'm going to rope Levi in with a fake baby."
"How the hell are you going to do that?"
"I've already done it. He thinks I'm pregnant, all his friends and family think I'm pregnant, I've just got to figure out a way to get his money before he figures out that I'm not."
"And how are you going to do that?"
Shelly frowns. "I'll get his phone. Grab it while he's not watching. Drain his bank account. I'll think of something. I always do. This whole going back to school thing has been a genius idea, Laz. I'm telling you. You ought to do the same thing. These trust fund kids? I've almost got one roped in good. Levi is just stupid enough to fall for it, too. Goddamn virgins. That was just a bonus." She chuckles.
I have to stop myself from running up to her and punching her right in the face.
"So, when are you getting your new car?" Laz asks.
"Next week."
"And this is from the money you got from selling your wedding rings?"
Shelly is pleased with herself. "That's right. And the alimony is starting up in a couple of months, and I got the house, so I'm set for this year and then some."
"You are a genius, Shelly. Sheer genius."
I want to puke. I can't believe this. Shoving my food wrappers into my pockets, I roll my way down the hill, away from the eating area. I've had enough. Tossing the rest of my burger and fries onto the lip of the pond, for the waterfowl to eat, I walk back toward the grassy area closer to the booths. I can't begin to think about how horrible this woman is that has Levi's heart. It's disgusting. It's almost unbelievable, yet I sat there, witnessing all of it. And I hate it that it has to be done, but I can't stand the thought of telling Levi and breaking his heart.
Buddy sees me coming back into the tent. "You didn't bring anything? Did you eat?"
"I ate some." I answer.
He looks at me. "You okay?"
