“She’s going to be there?”
“Everyone is going to be there. And anyone that knows anyone that will be there is going, too. You know how it works.”
“I do, But she’s from Dallas.”
I shrug. “That’s what Levi said. That she’s coming.”
“Did he say whether or not he was going to share the fact that he was hanging around with you tonight? Taking cozy pictures with you?”
“We’re just friends, Trisha. And that’s all we can be. Like I said.”
She doesn’t say anything for a beat. “Man, this bites. The first good fit you’ve had with a guy and he’s not on the damn market. Why couldn’t he be stupid or ugly.”
“Because I can’t have everything, that’s why, Trish. Look, I’ve got a fantastic career, more money than I need, a supportive family, and great health. Why should I also get to have the man of my dreams?”
She gives me a look. “Are y’all saying that you don’t deserve it?”
We’ve been through this before. “You know that’s not what I mean. It just means that I can’t have it all.”
“But you’re deaf, Lennie. You already don’t have everything.”
She doesn’t mean that to be as harsh as you think. Trisha loves me to death, and she would never say anything or do anything to hurt me. She simply means that I don’t have everything. She’s not intentionally trying to point out a flaw that I can’t change, or rub that flaw in my face, either. “Trisha, you know that me being deaf has been a gift more than a curse.” I gesture with my hand. “Look at the skills I have because I can’t hear. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“Lennie, I love you for seeing it that way, but you also see it that way because you don’t know what you’re missing out on. You were born deaf. You’ve never heard birds chirping or the sound of music, and you’ll never be able to hear the man you love tell you that he loves you.”
I wait a beat for emphasis. “But I’ll feel it.”
She bites her lip and cradles my face with her hands. “You will. God, you are such a beautiful person, Lennie. But you deserve to have everything you want. Maybe Levi isn’t it.”
“I know he’s not. But there’s no law against dreaming is there.”
“No.” She blinks. “I suppose there’s not.”
“Face it, Trisha. If it isn’t real love, if it isn’t something that I can feel or see, then it’s not worth having, now, is it. All my life, my mama and daddy have been telling me that it doesn’t matter that I can’t hear a thing, it’s that I have a gift. A gift that’s brought me more gifts than many may see in a lifetime. The money that I earn and the life that I’ve made for myself, most men wouldn’t be able to handle. At least not in this town. And even though Levi isn’t one of those men, he’s also spoken for. And if he isn’t an honorable man, who doesn't take responsibility for that child, then what good is he to me."
“You certainly are a much bigger person than I am. Hell, if I were after a man like Levi, I’d be planting booby traps everywhere for that other tramp."
I can’t help but laugh. “I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I thought for a split second about posting that picture on social media and tagging Levi in it. If her personality is as hard looking as her face is, that will not be well received."
“You know as well as I do with that if you do that, and Levi pays a price for it, he’ll never speak to you again anyway.”
“Exactly.” I start scrolling through the pictures that I took tonight. “And I’m okay with just being his friend. If that’s all I can be to him, then I’ll take it."
She gets a mischievous grin on her face, like the Cheshire cat, as she elbows me. “Nothing says that you can’t be the other woman. That would be something. Cutting your teeth on a man like that."
“As much as that thought is what is going to keep me up at night, you see the look on his face in that picture with her, right?That’s because he’s with a tramp. I like the smile on his face better in the pictures of him and I, frankly."
“You slay me, my friend. Still haven’t given up hope on losing your virginity to the right one huh?"
“I’ve kept it this long. Why would I give it up now?”
She pats my leg. “Do you want to come over to my place? Watch a late movie?"
“Maybe tomorrow. I’ve got an idea for one of these shots, and I want to use my creative juices tonight."
“You sure? I’ll find us a really raunchy romance flick. That ought to get your juices flowing.”
“Tomorrow. I’ll even bring the stick of butter.” I wink.
