“Well, a man that doesn’t show anything didn’t care, love.” She says, matter-of-factly.
“Then he must have been head over heels in love with me, then. Because if looks could kill…” I trail off.
“Did you love him?”
I inhale deeply and then exhale, and then I speak softly. “So much. Gunner was the first person to show me what love is all about. It was brief, but he left a mark on my heart forever, and that’s the truth.”
“At least y’all got to love, doll. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“That’s what they say.” I agree. “He’s going to Dallas next year.”
“He tell you that?”
I nod.
She gets a look on her face.
“What?”
She grins slightly. “He wouldn’t have told you that if he didn’t want y’all to know.”
“I think it was more of a warning.” I scoff. “Like, you stay on your side of campus, and I’ll stay on mine, sort of thing.”
Felicia chuckles. “Oh, darlin’, I bet you twenty bucks, he’ll show up at that gift shop again tomorrow. And I’ll bet you he has much more to say to you.”
“Probably not. He made it clear that he didn’t want to see me again.”
“How did he do that?”
“Well, it’s just a gut feeling, and I trust my gut.”
She speaks with a head tilt for emphasis. “It’s good to trust your gut instinct, Ava, but make sure that y’all aren’t listening to your head, instead of your heart.”
***
Gunner
“What’s the matter, little brother?” Zack asks, as I walk into the room, holding the bag of goodies for the baby and Kate. “Y’all look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“It’s probably all the blood.” Kate states.
Mama interjects. “Naw, my Gunner’s watched our horses go into calf since before he could walk. He don’t get freaked out by the sight of blood. No, he saw something else. You okay, son?”
“I’m fine, mama. I just…here.” I hand Kate the package.
“Oh, Gunner, thank you.” She gushes. The baby is in Zack’s arms, as he sits on a side chair, while Myra admires her new baby brother. “Where’d you go? To the gift shop?”
“Well, of course. I didn’t know he was a boy before, did I?” I say, not meaning to sound crass.
Kate’s face falls. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.”
I lift a hand. “It’s okay, man. Shoot. I’m sorry.”
Mama turns me to face her. “What’s up, son?” her face registers concern.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, and bum everyone out. I’ll tell you later, mama.”
“You okay?” she checks.
