I look at her. “How did you know?”
She gives me a weak smile. “It doesn’t take a genius, Ava. I’ve seen it many times. But I’ve learned that you must be one hundred percent certain before acting.”
“Have you ever been a hundred percent certain?”
She nods but keeps her eyes on her mug. “Your schooling paid for for the semester, Ava?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Have you got a job?” She lifts her hand. “Of course y’all don’t have a job. How stupid of me to ask.”
I shake my head no. “But I could get one.”
“Y’all wanna stay in Houston, or do you want to come back here, in town, far enough away from your folks to be safe.”
I look at her. “Are you saying y’all can let me stay here?”
“Yes, Ava. I’ve got plenty of room. I don’t have much money, but I can give you a place to stay if y’all want it.”
I’m numb. It’s like it’s real now. She’s quiet for a moment as I let that sink in. “The way I look at it, Ava, they’re going to come looking for you in Houston. It’s up to you but I think you ought to stay here, apply to Dallas in the winter, see if you can transfer out here mid-semester, as much as I think that’s a lost cause. You may lose the progress you’ve made this year.”
I listen. She’s levelling with me. Talking to me like I’m an adult, not a child. “I told you before that I haven’t got a lot of money. You’ll have to pay your way for school as much as you can.”
“I can get a scholarship. I missed it by a couple of days for fall.”
“Can’t imagine what held you up.” She says almost facetiously like she knows how mama made me late to submit the application. I dared not fight with her even though she foolishly lost herself thousands of dollars in tuition just to have the opportunity to beat the hell out of me once more.
I stare at my hands.
“My name’s Felicia, sweetheart. She says, grasping my hand. “Call me Felicia.”
I manage a tight smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re most welcome.” She releases my hand. “How did you get here, doll?”
“Rode my bike.”
Her eyes widen and she asks if I still live in the same home that she remembers. “Good Lord, child, why didn’t you say so? I could have picked you up.” She pats my hand. “Never mind that. Let’s go get your things.”
And suddenly the woman in me wakes up a little. And the little girl shies away like she has all my life. And it occurs to me that it’s the kindness of people around me that I was blind to for so many years. When you’re mistreated sometimes it feels like you don’t deserve to be treated kindly. Not sure what woke me up to that, but something tells me that it’s love. Gunner’s love.
…a love that I may never know again.
Chapter 7
Gunner
My cast is still driving me nuts as I sit on my bed, trying to stick a pen down to scratch the inside of my elbow. Ava hasn’t been on my mind for a while. I blocked her out of my mind, heart, and right the hell out of social media. Okay, that’s a huge lie. Well, a lie, nonetheless. Sure, I blocked her out of social media, but that’s about it. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought about her. Especially since being cooped up inside the house with this stupid fucking broken arm.
Thank God the cast comes off next week. I can’t wait. Then I’ve got physiotherapy that I’m so thrilled about I could puke. What I’ve been doing in my spare time is applying to local colleges. Truth is, I was just hanging around Houston for most of last semester. I barely attended school. It wasn’t worth it. Ava left. Moved out of state from what I heard, but who knows. I never looked her up, except for when she came up on my Facebook feed as a person that I may know. I didn’t even troll her account, I simply blocked her. She disappeared out of thin air, and I told myself that I was bitter about it, but the truth is that I just missed the hell out of her.
As I unblock her, her profile picture comes right up. Turns out, she didn’t move out of state at all. Not sure what happened to her, unless just removing me from the equation fixed it all for her. Don’t know why I care so much until I see her acceptance letter for University of Dallas, the exact same place where I’m going to in September. And I’m starting from scratch. I guess her folks are doing a fucking happy dance right now, seeing as they not only removed the boyfriend, but they also got her to bring her sorry ass back home to Dallas.
Looks like she got herself a scholarship, too. Good for her. Like I fucking care. I gave up caring when she flew the coop, leaving me in Houston, back just before mid-terms. It’s been months since I’ve seen or heard from her. It’s been months since I flunked out of college, gave up, hung around for a while, and then gave up and came home to face the music. If it makes y’all feel any better about my bitter attitude, I got my just desserts. Yeah, when I busted my arm up a couple months ago, helping Ellie, Maverick’s girlfriend, move. Karma came back to bite me in the ass, landing me in the hospital, getting surgery and the whole nine yards.
So, I see that Ava’s going to be going to the same school as I am in the fall. Am I going to look her up? Not a fucking chance. Nope. I bet you her folks are so happy that they’ve royally fucked up their kid’s life. And so easily, too. Those type of people are trash, and to be honest, I’m kind of glad that I didn’t get too mixed up with her. I mean, I’m not saying that Ava’s trash or anything, because she was far better than that, but what I mean is that it would have been a constant battle.
Mama wouldn’t put up with that shit, either. She’d a taken one look at Ava and known exactly what was going on there. Mama is no fool. And she taught me well. That’s how come I didn’t feel at all intimidated by Ava’s folks. I know that I’m a good person, and I could feel it right away that something was off about them. Didn’t feel it at all when I was with Ava though.
