Her gazeis on the floor.
“Ellie?” I take the empty plate from her lap, place it on thecoffee table, and tip her chin up so our eyes meet. “Look, Ellie,no matter which way you slice it, raising a child isn’t easy. Youcan be the best fit parents in the world, and it can still all gosouth. Or, you can be the worst possible parents ever, but raise,like a Nobel Prize winner. It’s a throw of the dice, love. But atleast if we’re honest with the kid and with each other, we have afighting chance. And if our hearts are both in it for the rightreasons, I don’t see how it’s going to fail.”
Her eyessearch mine. “What if I’m not cut out to be a mother, Maverick? Idon’t have all those maternal instincts that most womenhave.”
“What are you talking about. Look at what you did for Gunner?Tell me you haven’t got a maternal instinct. My foot you don’t. Youjust don’t see it, Ellie. But I do. I see it plenty.”
“Yeah…that’s…”
“That’s nothing to be ignored, Ellie.” I state firmly. “Now, Iknow that y’all don’t think much of that, but I think that was morethan just being decent.”
“Well, Gunner’s a good kid. I can sense that abouthim.”
“And you’re right. But the fact that you truly cared enoughabout him to stay at the hospital, and then go out and get himthose books, and deliver them personally…that’s sayingsomething.”
“Wouldn’t you have done the same?”
“Probably. But that’s my point. I have an instinct. And I lovekids. So if we’re both on the same page on that, I think you oughtto let that sink in.”
She’squiet for a beat. “You really think I’ll be cut out forthis?”
I put myarm around her. “I really do. I think that a lot of womenunderestimate themselves.”
“And what if I don’t cut it once this kid comes out? Thenwhat?”
“Then we’ve got enough people around us to help out, Ellie.You’d never be alone. I’m…not going anywhere. If I don’t get underyour skin, that is. But I’ll try not to. That I can promiseyou.”
“What if the kid hates me?”
“When they’re teenagers, they always hate their parents, butwhen they’re little, mama and daddy are like celebrities, Ellie. Isee it all the time. Y’all should come by the ranch some time whenI’m teaching the kidlets. It’s a lot of fun, and I think you’d geta real feel for what it’s really like to have themaround.”
“I hope you’re not just saying all this so I’ll have thebaby.”
“Hey.” My tone is serious, concerned. “Sure, I’m telling youthis so you’ll have the baby, Ellie. And that’s the truth. I thinkyou’ll make one hell of a mama, darlin’, and I think that if yougive the baby up for adoption, that you’ll regret it the rest ofyour life, if you want my opinion.”
Shelooks at the floor again, but I raise her chin up. “Ellie, I thinkyou’re afraid. And that’s okay. But understand that there’s noneed. I’ll always be here for you, night and day, and I meanthat.”
“What about my job? I can’t be looking after a baby all day.”She says, eyes glassy, chin quivering. I think I’m making someprogress here, so I answer her question as carefully aspossible.
“Well, my mama would be over the moon if you’d let her lookafter the baby during the day, and I’d help out each night. You’vegot a dozen or so babysitters at your disposal any time, too,Ellie. And Myra, my niece, gosh she’ll be so excited. She’s stillgetting used to the fact that she’s gonna be a big sister. Shefinds out she’s going to get a new cousin, too, why…she’ll fallover herself with excitement.”
“You’re not making it any easier, Maverick.” She scoffs atearful laugh. “I’m going to get fat and ugly, and I’m going to bethe biggest bitch around.”
“And you’ll earn every pound and be entitled to every ounce ofattitude, darlin’. I promise you that.”
“The town’s going to look at us like I’m a whore and you’re asucker.”
“Now that’s where I draw the line, sugar.” I say kindly. “Idon’t live my life to please anyone, darlin’, and neither shouldyou. If we have this baby, we’re having it for us, not to pleaseanyone. There’s always going to be someone who’s got something tosay about you, even if you’re the most perfect person there is,see. So if we go and have this baby, without being married, withoutbeing together, so be it. That’s none of anyone’s business. Plus,once that kid is born, and it’s as beautiful as the day is long,they’ll all be envious, anyway. So, it doesn’t matter what elsethey think. Mama always says that a decent person talks aboutissues, not people, and I believe that.”
Shemanages a smile through her tears. “Your mama sounds like anincredible person. I really hope that she likes me.”
“There aren’t too many that mama doesn’t like, sugar, as I’vesaid before. And believe me, if you give her another grandbaby,she’ll praise the ground that you walk on, darlin’.” I say with amirthful scoff.
“But if I give it up, everyone will hate me.”
“Nobody’s going to hate you for making a choice that’s rightfor you, darlin’. And quit worrying about what everyone else isgoing to think. This is about you…and me…I hope. And by me, I meanabout me being the daddy here, now, I just want to make thatdistinction. Last thing I want you to worry about is us. We arewhat we are and we’ll make that up as we go along, too,sugar.”
Her eyessearch mine. A tear falls down her cheek. “Maverick, I…I’m so sorryfor how I felt about you before.” She gasps. “I used you. I usedyou to get back at Will. I used you to fill in a gap that neededfilling. A scratch that needed scratching. And most of all, I’msorry for thinking that this baby is my punishment for treating youlike that.” She swallows, tears streaming down her cheeks. “When Ithink that it’s really a blessing.”
