“Not about you. Nothing. Not one memory that we haven’t made in the past few days exists.”
“It exists,” she says with such conviction she almost convinces me I’m wrong. “You just don’t remember.”
“Sure. That’s it.”
She grabs a towel to preload it onto the hook. “What about work? What’s the last thing you remember about your job?”
I get my own towels, not ignoring the fact that they’re all mine, and hang them on the hook next to hers. “I remember speaking to Jocelyn?—”
“Your assistant?” She steps back from the shower and looks at me.
How does she know who she is? Have I mentioned Jocelyn before without remembering saying the name? I take a step back to figure out what the fuck is going on. How would she know that?
That’s it. I’m done playing this game. I care about Delaney, but these secrets are becoming too much to ignore. I was hoping she’d tell me the truth, especially when given the perfect opportunity several times over. Yet another test falls off the tip of my tongue, wondering how she’ll respond. “Yes, my assistant.”
“I almost forgot who she was. Carry on.”
“Almost like you’re the one with amnesia.” I don’t know if she’s failing or passing since she’s got my thoughts all messed up.
She laughs. “Funny.” There’s no humor heard in it. “So you remember work but not me? I really made an impression, didn’t I?” The sound is more restrained, but at least she seems to be laughing to herself this time.
“Yeah, seems so.” I reach in to test the temperature of the water. Since it’s ready, I’d love to get in, but this damn cast must be covered. “Do you mind helping me?”
She grabs the bag and the elastic and slips both over my arm. There’s no irritation in the act or stalled in her muscles, which I expected since I’ve put her on the defensive. Just kindness, which I appreciate. “You’re not about to steal my shower, are you?”
“Nope. Thanks for the help.” I step under the spray of the water. “I was already coming in for a shower when you overtook everything.” I could say that about a few things. I leave the stall door open as an invitation. I’m sure she’d feel better clean like I will. I’ll feel better if I get all this off my chest.
Delaney looks annoyed with her arms crossed over her chest and her little foot tapping in irritation. But that’s something she’s going to have to work through on her own. I have a bigger mess to clean up—our relationship.
You would have thought she was surrounding a great battle when she enters the shower and closes the door behind her. Somber, the quiet between us gives too much time to stare at one another and ignore what I know we’re both thinking. Ignoring doesn’t do either one of us any favors, so I ask, “If there was one thing you wish I remembered about you, what would that be?”
She slides against me until she’s covered by the sprayinstead. I want to laugh, but it’s not the time for that. With her eyes closed and head tilted back, the water runs down the length of her hair. She rubs her hands over her face, focusing on her eyes before lifting and opening them. “No matter what happens, I hope you can remember how you felt when you said you loved me.” She holds my gaze, not looking away, but searching for something I don’t know if I can give her.
The conflict I’ve felt inside from falling for her to feeling used isn’t lessened by her words. They’re deepened, though. When did I tell her that? I scroll through the short time we’ve had together, and when my feelings were heightened. Sex.
Oh shit . . .
My lips were attached to her neck.
Our bodies pushing us closer to coming.
Fuck.
“I love you” is not the same as “I love your body.” Though I’m not so sure that I didn’t say what I mean, I know it’s not how I would have chosen to tell her the first time. I remember what we were doing and how incredible it felt. The emotions attached are more powerful. I might be dabbling in enemy territory and walking a fine line. The wrong words could send this all spiraling, but the right ones sit on the tip of my tongue. I love her and can’t lose her.
She pours shampoo into the palm of her hand but doesn’t wash her hair. She washes mine, moving behind me and reaching up on her tiptoes to massage my scalp and lather the hair. “I know things aren’t perfect, Warner, but they’re ours and we’re each other’s—flaws and all. And that’s something I’m okay with. More than okay. Rinse.”
I dip my head under the water and rub my fingers through it to get the soap out. Flaws and all. Is that what thelies are? Simple flaws in the biometrics of our relationship? When everything else is so good, can I,will I, be able to overlook the issues?
Watching her now as she washes her own hair, still feeling cared for after she washed mine without me even asking, but it’s the way she makes me laugh that has been eye-opening. I was stuck in the boredom of my life, but she’s shown me another way to live.
I don’t want to fight with her, and I don’t want her on the defensive when she’s with me. “I want us to be together, Sass. How do you feel about that?”
Beaming up at me like I wasn’t giving her the third degree not ten minutes ago, she says, “I thought you’d never ask.” She might have known where this was going already, but she waited patiently for me to catch up. Now that I’m by her side, and this is my girl, officially, who cares how we got here? We’re where we’re supposed to be. That’s all that matters.
CHAPTER 24
Warner
