“No, see you later for me, Sor?” Bal’s fingers dug into the soft skin of my arms, but they didn’t hurt me, more stopping me from falling backwards in shock.
I gulped. Then found my backbone. I’d vowed not to be treated like dirt ever again, not by him or any other vampire. “No, Count. I have no desire to see you later.”
Something like surprise flashed in his eyes.
I didn’t care if my courage had shocked him. I was too raw. I yanked my arms from his grasp. Even as his face registered his confusion, he didn’t grab me again.
“So be it.” His voice was utterly cold now. “I’ll make sure you’re informed when Shane is fully through bloodlust, but he will still be volatile, so you will need to stay away from him until I tell you it is safe.”
“He won’t hurt me.”
Balthazar lifted one elegant brow. “Really? Regardless of how he held you just then, he is a fledgling vampire, and you saw what happened to me. His wolf side means he needs more feeding and fucking than any other person I’ve ever seen through the change. It’s not safe for you to be alone with him. In fact, avoid this wing until I tell you he has fully turned. It’s also important that you don’t speak of him taking my blood, not to anyone. Do you understand?”
“Fine!” I snapped, irritated that he thought Shane would hurt me, and that he was telling me in not-so-many words that neither of them would feed from me again, that they wouldn’t need me. I huffed and began walking away.
“Sorcha, I’m serious. He’s not done with his bloodlust yet, and he will try to feed from you if you are near. You are human and therefore vulnerable, especially as his wolf already wants you. He thinks you’re...his.” He almost growled the word. “And he will take what he wants. Shane can’t control the beast inside him, not yet. He might not want to hurt you, but hunger and lust will continue to hit him, and they will steal his compassion and kindness.” He stepped closer and grasped my upper arms again, firmly, but still not enough to hurt. “He’s already pushed my boundaries, and it has taken all of my strength to control him so far.”
I swallowed hard. For the first time in my life, I considered defying someone more powerful than me. Shane was my friend...possibly more.
Balthazar’s eyes narrowed. He released one arm and carefully brushed some hair behind my ear, searching my eyes. I lowered my gaze, not willing to antagonise the ancient vampire.
“Do you understand, sweet girl? He will harm you, even if he doesn’t want to. He will not be able to help himself.”
I nodded. “I understand. I just…” To my shame, I felt emotion clog my throat. I risked a peek into his eyes. As always, once I did, I couldn’t look away. His expression softened, and gentle fingers brushed down my cheek.
“I know. You miss his company. You want him.”
I nodded, not looking away even when my cheeks flushed. “I do.”
“It won’t be forever, Sorcha. He’ll be back with you soon. And once he’s fully turned, I’ll take you both to the Gambit. He willneed to learn control, and the only way to do that is to put him in a room with temptations and force him to resist.”
“That sounds a bit crude. Isn’t there a better way? One that won’t put him and other people at risk? He’d hate to lose control and hurt someone innocent.”
Bal’s smile almost looked regretful, along with a shadow in his eyes that even he couldn't hide. “There are very few innocent people in my club, Sorcha. But, regardless, there is no other way. He will learn control; it’s the only option.”
My blood ran cold. “What happens if he doesn’t?” My fingers curled onto his forearms, enjoying the feel of his skin under my fingers, even as his corded muscles tensed. He leaned down and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. It surprised me so much I forgot to speak when he turned away. I couldn’t see his face when he answered my question.
“Let’s hope that he does.” He turned to the shadows of the old castle corridor. “Davlov? I need to feed once I have rested. I’ll inform you when I am ready.”
Clearly dismissed, I hurried away, not stopping until I’d run down the grand staircase and outside, slamming the front door behind me. I gulped in lungfuls of pine-laced air. The scent of the outdoors always calmed me, and nature even more so. Determined to keep my promise to Shane to be here when he conquered his lust, I pushed my confused feelings about what had just happened between the three of us deep down.
I strode out across the castle grounds, needing space from thoughts of what Shane and Bal were doing together. I decided to head to the estate boundaries and the distant lake that I could see from my window. It was my favourite place to sit and just be alone. Maybe the cool highland air and physical exercise would ease the desire burning through my veins.
8
Shane
The coolness comingfrom the stone around the window seeped into my hot skin. My wolf rumbled with need as the scent of the nearby forest blew in through the open window. He wanted to run, and I was with him all the way—but not yet. I felt stronger than I ever had, but I could also feel a restlessness, a need to hunt and feed, simmering beneath my skin. I wasn’t in control enough to shift into our new vampire hybrid.
The view across the Count’s… No. I shook my head...Balthazar’s estate always stole my breath. I was born in rural Ireland but moved to Belfast at a young age and never left the city. Foster homes and constantly hiding my shifter side had kept me away from the nature and gorgeous scenery of my home. I left at fifteen and moved to London, hoping to get a job there. The first time I shifted had taken me unawares, and I’d found myself in pain and alone in an alley until another wolf had found me. Jasper Dean had changed my life when he offered me the protection of the rogue alpha pack.
That group of alpha shifters weren’t bound by strict pack laws and roamed free, but it hadn’t taken me long to understand that they always returned to Jasper if they needed help. Because it wasn’t a formal pack, I’d had the freedom to do as I pleased without the rules and hierarchy I’d always rebelled against. It had been ideal for a teenage wolf shifter still trying to find himself. It was only after I’d been drugged and incarcerated in an under-the-radar prison for supernaturals, courtesy of a vile bastard called Doherty, that I’d used every drop of my power to become a pack Alpha to survive. Once we’d escaped that prison, I became Alpha of Hope. Hope was a shifter town in Canada that had grown from the ragtag group of prison escapees who’d opted to stay to a thriving town and pack under Connor Rawson’s protection.
I rubbed a hand over my face, erasing the horrible memories that thoughts of the prison triggered, and, instead, tried to remember the good times from the past few years. Lina’s friendship, building a pack and town I was proud of, taking responsibility for others, and ensuring they were well cared for, but, most of all, enjoying each day I’d survived that hellhole. I’d survive this shite situation, too. I’d learn to cope. Even if, right now, it didn’t feel like I could. I was a monster. A living, breathing wolf and vampire hybrid. I sucked in a harsh breath, unsure why Balthazar had saved me. Especially when I wasn’t sure if that was the best thing for anyone—even me.
After finding Bal flat on his stomach and practically unconscious a few hours ago, my adrenaline had spiked. Saving him wasn’t a choice, simply something I had to do. I’d felt strong as I’d slipped out of bed. It had been a shock to see the bulk that had returned to my muscles, and though my brain was still foggy about what had happened, I knew he’d fed me, and not just with blood but with pleasure.
It was strange to think about the fear and animosity I’d felt for him before my bloodlust because the only fear I’d felt right then was that he was going to die. I was such an abomination that I’d drained a powerful, eternal vampire of his life force. My heart had almost stopped when I’d seen Bal so depleted and weak. I’d barely been able to take a breath and yell for help.
