Chapter 1
Shannon
The long-haired, sexy shifter on the other side of the bar placed the glass in front of me. “There you go, Shan.”
Clear liquid wavered in the blurred glass like the air in a heat wave, and squinting didn’t bring it into focus. Biting my bottom lip, I reached out to take my drink, but my fingers slipped in the condensation on the sides. Urgh, why had the too-handsome barman, person,whatever,made the damned thing with ice in it? Rose water was better neat. Concentrating hard, I tried again, but my arm was heavy and didn’t quite go where I aimed. Instead, I compensated for how the slippery glass evaded my grasp and managed to do a kind of batting move that pushed it into my other hand. I quickly cradled it in my palms, just in case Mr Smexy barman-person decided I’d had enough and took it from me.
“Fuck…”It didn’t move an inch when I tried to lift it. I glared at the strong fingers that rested over the top, keeping it stuck in place. Baring my teeth didn’t make any difference. The ownerof those digits ignored my warning and kept his fingers firmly between me and my ticket to oblivion.
My attention captured, I lifted my head, causing the room to spin. I swallowed down another burst of bile that burned the back of my throat as viciously as the last one. Shit, maybe I should have tried to eat something before I started my mission of getting shitfaced. Jesus, couldn’t a girl just be left alone to drown her sorrows and, just maybe, the fucking endless pain that nevereverleft?
Mr Smexy barman…person, cocked an eyebrow. Did I know his name? I wracked my brain but couldn’t remember. Even biting my upper lip until it hurt didn’t help. I wished I did know him, though, ‘cause he was hot. Had I fucked him yet? My eyes narrowed on his face. I really should. Yep. He was definitely worth a roll in the hay. Something told me he’d help me forget all the bad shit in my head for a few hours.
Mr Smexy cocked his head, his crystal blue eyes narrowing. “You sure you want more? I could call someone to come get you if you’d like.” His attention strayed to the person sitting beside me at the bar.
I laughed, the sound as bitter as I felt. He had no fucking idea. There was no one to call. My sister was busy getting laid by her super sexy Alpha mate. No way was I disturbing her. She was going to have his baby, and they would have a happy life together. The kind of life she’d always deserved. One that didn’t include rescuing her shitfaced sister at two in the morning. And there was no one else. Well, no one I wanted to see me like this, anyway.
Don’t get me wrong, I knew people, especially as part of my role as a Shadow Sentinel, one of the Shifter King’s close circle. But equally, I had managed to let them all down at some point, and the last thing I wanted was to deal with their judgy looks. Yep, my ability to get rat-arsed drunk was about the only fuckingskill I hadn’t messed up recently—besides driving people away. I wasreallygood at that. Especially the silvered-haired, moody, arsehole Alpha that had been my… what? My friend? I shook my head. Stone wasn’t a friend, but neither was he a lover. Sometimes, I hated him, and he returned the favour. Sometimes, he was angry enough with me that I thought he’d throw me off the nearest cliff. Other times, when my defences were down and I let him in, it seemed like he was the only one who ‘got’ me. Except, he didn’t. Not really. No one knew me, not truly, because I had never let anyone get that close.
I blinked, my stomach sinking like I’d swallowed a damn brick. Now, even he’d gotten pissed off enough with my self-destructive behaviour that he’d stopped giving a shit. But that was the point, wasn’t it? I’d deliberately pushed and pushed until he realised what I’d known all along—that I wasn’t worth the hassle. That I was damaged goods. A crazy, selfish bitch.
I should be glad I’d finally managed to alienate him. The Mother knew I’d been trying long enough. Tonight had just given me the opportunity to finish it.
There’d been a death challenge for the position of Cain Rawson’s Beta. Rawson was the Alpha of the Canadian pack here in the isolated town of Hope. He was also my sister’s mate. Lucas, a wolf shifter who deserved that Beta position more than anyone else in this pack, had defended his right to it viciously and without mercy. I’d no idea what his history was, except that he was a local, a powerful wolf shifter who’d been here since the whole pack had escaped incarceration from a shithole prison that had used shifters for amusement, breeding…and other hideous things that still made me shiver.
It was a constant source of disgust to me that I shared the same blood as the evil fucker that had run that place. My father. He’d hunted down shifters and locked us in that unsanctioned shifter prison. I’d found out eventually that he’dbeen collaborating with a powerful demon to do those violently unspeakable things to us all.
My father…
I shuddered, my nostrils flaring as I shoved down and then stamped on the dark memories that wanted to flood me.
Lucas’s victory would have been a good reason to celebrate, but seeing Stone leave with a dark-haired beauty that I could never compare to had been so fucking painful I’d gone right to my default method of coping. Alcohol. I had other ways, too, but those would have to wait—at least for now.
“Fuuck offf, Mr….” I squinted. The cute barman’s name badge was too blurry to see. I grunted in disgust. They needed better quality printing… “...Smexy.” I tried pointing a finger at him, giving up when it wouldn’t stay on target. “An’ no callin’ Stoney-boy. Nope.” My lips smacked together on the P. “He’s bizeee fucking someone.”
Smexy chuckled and shook his head, lifting his hands in surrender. Without another word, he walked into the back where I couldn’t see his gorgeous face—or arse—anymore. With a lack of anything else to study, I squinted at my drink. The pink liquid in the glass wavered. Even the glass changed shape. I blinked. “Thas clevah.”
The guy next to me pushed off his stool and moved in. I’d been aware of his presence but too intent on getting more alcohol in my system to acknowledge him until now. His fingers traced up and down my forearm. I narrowed my gaze on that movement and curbed my instinct to punch his lights out for touching me without permission. I didn’t like that contact but didn’t bother pulling my arm away. He was offering me my other favourite form of distraction without any effort on my part. Good. I really couldn’t be arsed with chasing anyone. I needed sex: no strings, no repeats, just sex. Definitely not sweet nothings.
I peered at him, but his features blurred. It didn’t matter if he was as ugly as sin, which no shifter really was, not on the outside anyway. I could still lose myself in him for however long an orgasm took. Even if he was a quick finisher, I could sink into that pleasure high for a while and not think about anything else. Then I could pass out.
I peered at the clock above the bar. Not quite two-thirty AM.
I huffed. I’d still be fine going to see Ava in the morning. Rawson had made me promise to be with her. My sister didn’t need me to protect her any more than I needed her to protect me. She was an ex-SBI agent, just like me, but Rawson was still worried about her. Something was going on with the Made vampires and their infiltration of our shifter compounds that put us all at risk. And he had enemies. Things he’d done in his past. Things that haunted him. Things my father had made him do…
My admirer’s touch got firmer. I tolerated it, just like always. The fact that I fucking hated being touched by the strangers I picked up didn’t matter. It got me what I wanted…no, what I needed.
I released a breath and forced a sultry smile to my lips. I’d have another quick drink, a quick fuck, and I’d sleep this evening off. I’d forget about Stone and the fact he was fucking someone else, and I’d get up tomorrow to see Ava, then rinse and repeat.
Coming back to this bar tomorrow was probably a bad idea; they always rang Stone or Ava if I showed up too early in the day and got plastered. The town’s store might be a better option. I could get a couple of bottles of cheap vodka, take it to my room and down it without any judgemental looks from anyone. Not that I needed alcohol to get me through each day, but it sure made things more tolerable.
The strong smell of said alcohol hit my nostrils as I raised my drink. I grimaced when I realised it was my own breath that I could smell. My hand jerked, and I spilt some of the preciousliquid over the edge. Flicking my tongue out, I licked it off my skin and heard a groan from the shifter, aware his intense gaze was fixed on the side of my face.
Of course, I’d already noticed him when I walked in. It was obvious in his body language that he was on the prowl for a hookup, too, and part of my routine was to search out any potential fucks when I walked into the Black Orchid.
This guy wasn’t as big as most shifters. Perhaps he wasn’t a powerful one. A fox or smaller animal of some kind, maybe? I didn’t really care. He had a dick, a mouth, and functioning fingers. That would do. Gods knew I wasn’t looking for a mate.
I knocked back the shot, enjoying the burning sensation down my gullet and smiled at him. “You wanna go somewhere?” There, my words weren’t slurred at all. Well, not much…
