Ajax nodded toward the bottle. “Would you like a drink?”
Noir shook his head. “You shouldn’t have another either. When Lucas comes home, you’ll need to be on your toes.”
Defying his prince, Ajax took another shot. His throat burned as he spoke. “If he comes home.”
“Why wouldn’t he? He loves you and I’m sure he knows by now that I only meant to rile you. Not ruin your relationship.”
“Yeah. I’d like to hear the answer to that.”
Ajax’s gaze shot toward the door at Lucas’ question. He had no idea how long Lucas stood there, but he had obviously been there long enough to hear Ajax admit he wasn’t sure if Lucas would come back.
Noir stood. “My husband is waiting. I should get back to him.”
Despite everything else happening, Ajax’s chest still warmed at the way Noir and Lazarus loved each other. They were never apart and never tired of each other. Ajax wanted that too. With Lucas.
Lucas didn’t speak again until they were alone. He crossed the room and leaned against the bar. His gaze dropped to the shot glass. “Seriously. Why did you think I wouldn’t come back?” He met Ajax’s stare. His sexy as fuck amber eyes melted every wall Ajax ever possessed.
Honesty was the only answer if he wanted to keep Lucas. “If it were me, I might not have because I know myself. I’m unbending. You’ll always live under my thumb. I never faked a damn thing, but I am…” Ajax fought for the best description. “Difficult.” That was all Ajax could think to say.
Lucas’ mouth turned up in one corner. “You’re spicy. I love that about you.”
Ajax tilted his head back and blinked at the ceiling for a second, trying to recover from the sheer terror of almost losing Lucas.
Lucas fingered the sleeve of Ajax’s dress shirt. “When you roll your sleeves like this and show off your sexy forearms, that shit gets me hot as hell. In fact, the first time I saw you this way, I swore you’d be mine one day.”
Ajax met Lucas’ stare. He looked serious. Like the conversation meant something to him. “I remember you teasing me fordressing down and slumming it. Derelict of duty, I believe you called it. But that was probably at least four or five years ago.”
Lucas’ gaze never wavered. “I know. Since the day Noir brought me on at nineteen, I’ve wanted you. But I knew I was too young, and you didn’t look at me that way. I remember exactly when the way you look at me changed. You rushed me here after I’d been ordered to make an example of that one guy who still stays at least one payment behind. I was covered in blood and—for whatever reason—you panicked, rushing to get me clean. You practically ripped the shirt off my back. Then everything seemed to freeze. It was like a spark lit in you that finally matched the one I’d been carrying. From then on, I couldn’t bring myself to truly settle down with anyone. No one else was you.”
Ajax saw and felt the honesty behind every word. Maybe they had never been only friends. “That’s not when I noticed you. In fact, there were times I had to force myself not to look your way. You were too young. Still are, honestly. It’s when you got serious with Jamison. That’s when I stopped caring about your age. You should probably know all my sins now.” Ajax took a breath. “I was the one who suggested Noir get Jamison involved. I’m the one who pointed out how useful he could be with his inside knowledge of some of our biggest clients. You weren’t supposed to be with him. I had to make him go away. You’ve always been mine.”
To his surprise, Lucas didn’t react. He didn’t blow up or walk away. “I know. When Noir told me to steal Jamison’s client information, I knew it was you. You’re the only one I ever talked to about anything related to Jamison. Very few people even knew what Jamison did back then, but you knew. I hated his job,which was so fucking dumb since I knew we weren’t meant to be. Still, you’re the only person I ever told.”
Ajax had expected Lucas would be shocked. Instead, it was him. “If you knew, why didn’t you confront me? I’m the reason you two split. I ruined your relationship on purpose. That’s how greedy I am.”
Lucas held his stare, giving Ajax a clear shot of the honesty in Lucas’ every word. “Because you’re my best friend. No matter how I felt about Jamison, I’ve never cared about anyone more than you, except for my mom. Maybe I never would’ve acted on things if I hadn’t gotten attacked, but it’s always been you.”
Ajax felt humbled beyond words. Truly, he didn’t know what to say. Even after everything that had come to light today, Lucas still chose Ajax. He didn’t deserve it. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take it. Like Ajax had said, he was greedy. He always took what he wanted. This one time, though, he needed to know Lucas wanted this every bit as badly as him. It seemed he did, and it took every ounce of strength Ajax possessed not to break down. Since Lucas died while holding his hand, Ajax had been on such an exhausting rollercoaster of emotions. Thankfully, his body seemed to know what to do, even with his brain finally breaking under the weight of everything.
Ajax shuffled closer and boxed Lucas in against the bar. He stared into the eyes of the man who meant everything to him. Ajax would burn the world for this. “I want to be inside you.”
Lucas’ eyebrows rose. “In.”
Ajax almost chuckled at Lucas’ immediate agreement. Lucas hadn’t even thought about it. He just agreed, like he had been waiting for Ajax to say just that. They hadn’t flipped roles before now. He wasn’t someone who believed in strict bedroom positions. Ajax hadn’t pressed for this before because he absolutely loved riding Lucas’ dick. But he needed to make love to Lucas, and Lucas was way too aggressive in the bedroom to move slowly.
Ajax moved in for a kiss before Lucas changed his mind. Lucas buried his hands in Ajax’s hair and held on. Their mouths clashed and played. Ajax maneuvered Lucas toward the bed. At the edge, he grabbed two handfuls of Lucas’ ass and lifted him from his feet just long enough to toss him onto the bed before immediately covering Lucas’ body with his. They went right back to making out. They awkwardly stripped each other, fighting to get closer and never break their kiss. When their nude bodies came together, Ajax growled with possessiveness. This man was his. Lucas had no idea exactly how dangerous Ajax was. There was nowhere he could hide where Ajax wouldn’t find him.
In his frenzied state, Ajax dove for the bedside table. His hands shook as he rolled a condom down his length. Lucas visibly fought for air while he watched Ajax suit up.
“You’re so goddamn stunning.” Ajax couldn’t help the words. Lucas deserved them. The scars from his attack meant nothing. The red hair that covered his body in all the right places made Ajax hot as hell. Lucas had the most gorgeous eyes Ajax had ever seen. They were almost yellow. Unique, just like the man.
“There’s no reason to flatter me. I’m more than willing. Hell, I was more than ready since our first kiss, but I didn’t think my body could take it with everything I lost and whatnot. But I don’t think it’s possible for me to ever feel bad enough to say no to you.” His fingertips skimmed Ajax’s stomach in the lightest touch before they barely brushed Ajax’s cock. Lucas looked turned on and hungry as hell. He was fucking killing Ajax. Ajax genuinely wanted to go slow and show Lucas the love he deserved.
“I wish you could see how you look at me.”
Ajax couldn’t bring himself to smile. “I don’t have to see. I feel the way my love for you overtakes everything. There’s no way it’s not pouring from my eyes. Sometimes, the way I feel about you is too much and has nowhere to go. I imagine there isn’t a soul who sees me looking at you and doesn’t know you’re my entire bloody world.”
“Same. I can’t wait to be your husband.”
