“I don’t think I can answer that hypothetically. This is between Maddox and me.” I’m about to leave it at that, but it occurs to me how much these two mean to him. The afternoon of the office-blow-job prank, he said he secretly idolized them, so I reveal more than I would. “Maddox told me your mom viewed love as an action, not just a feeling. That struck me because … well, it’s wise. Based on that, Maddox has alreadylovedme better than anyone ever has. He’s … I know my family doesn’t see it. Although I think my dad did. But Maddox is the best person I know.”
I finish my drink and gather my thoughts. “My family is difficult, but they’re mine. Cutting them out of my life isn’t something I can do on a whim. It would be like deciding to cut off a leg that wasn’t working well. Doing so wouldn’t mean you could run. In fact, it would haunt you. My family would be the phantom ache of what I once had or hoped for, and I … I’m not built that way. I don’t know what that means, but I won’t—”
“You’re loyal,” Axel says.
Despite the disappointed voice of my mother disputing that observation in my head, I claim it. “I believe I am.”
“So, you won’t walk away from Maddox either?” he surmises.
My gut stirs at the prospect, and the answer pops out of my mouth. “No, but I …”
“If you’re with Maddox, you aren’t cutting your family off. Their disapproval or animosity regarding your life is them choosing not to work as well as they should.” Ryker scoops up his dice, jostles them in his palm, and pockets them. “It’s alreadythe original analogy you described, except you’d have someone who loves you better than anyone else has.”
The sweetness of them fighting for Maddox burrows into me. It’s their devotion to one another that elevates them to the unstoppable kings of the underworld, even more than their La Lune Noire empire. Power often destroys relationships. It seems to strengthen theirs.
Of course,sweetis the last term I’d assign to Axel’s next comment.
“As a Noire queen, you and your family will be declared as protected, so—”
“That sounds like an ultimatum. Isn’t that already the case for me as an employee?”
He cocks an eyebrow in warning. “For you? Yes, to a degree, though it’s far from the untouchable class you’d reap as queen. But your family? No.”
I scoff at that, unfazed by the Noire dictatorship. “You’re bribing me to choose Maddox?”
“We’re telling you how our world works. You wanted to be a part of it, and you are. You told me you belong.” He pauses there, ensuring he has my attention. “There are rules and codes with these organizations. We’re simply informing you.”
Or threatening me? Is this on behalf of Maddox? No, he’d never go through them. He said we were inevitable, and there was a sinister edge to his tone that frustrated me, but it still felt romantic. Like he was fighting for me.
“I guess based on my past choices, you’d assume that if it were to shield my family from something, I’d agree without a second thought. But in those instances, the choices to take the consequence only affected me.”
“How is this different?” Ryker asks, and the subtlest glint of hope twinkles in his icy-blue eyes. He’s invested, probably as proxy for Mercy, though I’m not sure what he’s hoping for.
“Because Maddox deserves someone who wants him for him, separate from La Lune Noire or his empire or the power. That’s never been a factor for me.” I shake my head. “That’s not true; it was a deterrent. I don’t respond in kind to manipulation, regardless of whether it’s coming from the penthouse or a dirt road.”
I stand up, and they stay silent, which I appreciate. “If I choose to be with Maddox and become part of his world, it will be because I can’t bear to be without him. Not because you waved protection in front of me.”
On that final word, the door swings open, and Maddox appears with a huge grin when he sees me. “There’s my girl.” His gaze darts to his brothers, and his features turn to granite. “What the fuck is this?”
Axel rises. “We were just chatting—”
“You never fuckingjust chat,” Maddox snaps, tromping over to me and grabbing my hand. “Love you both, but you’re not to talk to her alone until I know you’re only making her feel—”
“Maddox.”
All it takes for this menacing six-foot-five man to stop his angry rant is his name on my lips, and that realization alone untangles a lifetime of inner turmoil inside me. Chants ofunlovableandtoo muchandnot enoughdissipate with the simple ability to be his tranquility.
“We just had a drink.” My fingers glide over his cheek, as if they have a mind of their own and can’t resist seeing if they wield the same power as my voice. “They were good. I needed a quieter atmosphere for a little while, and they helped.”
He appears soothed, but then he morphs into a Neanderthal and throws me over his shoulder.
“Really?” I hiss, smacking his back.
“Really.” He chuckles, storming for the door. “We’ve got places to be, and you tend to dig your heels in.”
“Mad,” Ryker calls out, waiting for Maddox to grant him his attention. “She’s gold. Don’t fuck this up.”
My heart jumps to my throat.
