“I get that.” My stomach knots as that horrific night replays in my mind. Still … “But all you had to do was say that you knew something. One simple sentence.”
“I probably would have after I—”
“How long has this been going on? The money laundering?” I direct that toward all of them because even if my parents weren’t privy to the reason for the trips, they knew the guys were going.
“The three of them took their first trip together a couple of years ago,” my father volunteers.
Eden verifies it. “Yeah. Just over two.”
I turn back to Violet because whether she recognizes it or not, she made a conscious choice to abandon me. “If you’d told me all this last night or at any time before that, Maddox would be standing next to me for this conversation. Those people who Derek and John have been laundering money for are the ones who ran us off the road, flipped our SUV, and shot and stabbed Maddox.”
The weight of that statement bludgeons me so vehemently that I grab my stomach.
It hurts.
“Obviously, we didn’t realize—”
“Don’t fucking say it.” I hurl a warning finger at Eden, rejecting her pathetic excuse, and Jax lightly pinches my neck, attempting to squeeze serenity into me, but I’m too riled up. “I have always put your needs ahead of my own. Even when I was a stupid fifteen-year-old. And you couldn’t even clue me in to what was going on. Two freaking years? I am a grown adult, and contrary to your opinion, I am responsible. You just took Hunter’s word for it that I screwed up, got in trouble, and he had to do something shady to fix it. That’s how you all see me?”
“Tessa,” my mother rebukes, “they thought they—”
“No.” The chill frosting my words delivers a fatal bite. “As far as I’m concerned, you fueled the car that rammed into us. If he dies, you are all dead to me.”
“Hey, hey, Tessy,” my father starts, and his voice and eyes that have always been like beacons of safety no longer feel like a refuge. “This isn’t you. Don’t say things you’ll regret.”
“How often did you admonish them for what they’d said to me?” I rub my head, mortified that I’m falling apart like this. “I love you, Dad. I know you love me too. You have stood up for me, but you don’t standwithme. Your only crime is that you could never really choose me.”
The truth lashes him across the face, and I heed the sting in my marrow.
For the first time in years, Eden’s emerald eyes teem with remorse. “This is a mess. We’ve all made mistakes, but we are your family.”
“How convenient. You say that like it should mean something when it never has, Eden. Your actions have shouted how false that is.” I point to the two men at my side and twirl myhand around the resort. “Theyare my family. Mercy is a sister. She loves when I play with her son. She lets me babysit. She’s there when I’m at my best and at my worst. And the Noires, they have shown up for me anytime I needed them. I spent so much time resisting Maddox and … all because I didn’t want to disappoint you. I lost so much time with him.”
“I’m so sorry.” Tears cascade down Violet’s face as her arms curl around her waist, and it nearly does me in. “I should have told you.”
“I can’t do this right now.” I grab my head; visions of Maddox coughing and sputtering, covered in blood, keep assaulting me. I turn to Ryker. “I don’t want them to stay here. I just want to focus on Maddox without the drama. My father is welcome, but make the rest of them leave.”
Ryker steps closer, lifts my chin, and studies me for a beat, but the regret marring his icy blues announces his decision before his verdict is cast. “You have every right to be upset, and I agree that you should concentrate on Maddox and get some space from this, but they need to be questioned … and protected.”
There’s a subtle reminder of the role I have as Maddox’squeen, but I can’t seem to hold it when he could be taken from me.
They knew. All they had to do was tell me about the money. Maddox would’ve been fine.
Another image of him gripping his chest with sorrow in his eyes, angry that I hadn’t run, torments me. He had expected me to leave him. He was willing to die to keep me safe. He wouldn’t even let me tell him I loved him because he knew I’d realize it was goodbye.
Love is an action.
Rage consumes me like a demon as I face my blood relatives, my voice laced with gravelly embers. “It seems your associationto me has won you protection. Enjoy your suite, but this is my home, and these passageways are sacred. Get the hell out.”
“Conversation is over.” Jax hoists me into his embrace and bolts for the medical wing door.
I’m outside my body again, fighting his hold and kicking my feet. When he punches the code and we breach the threshold to the medical facility, Axel’s face is green.
Every blow of that truck slamming into us, every slice from a blade that Maddox endured, the shot to his lungs that stole his breath—it all batters me, and I vomit.
TESSA
“Look at me.” Mercy clutches my jaw, waiting for my eyes to focus. “There you are.”
