Axel: You’re definitely not in the friend zone. I reviewed the fucked-up contract. So not friendly.
Me: Fucked up? Try brilliant. It’s smoother than all the twisted shit with your endeavors.
Axel: Interesting you should bring that up. Does she understand she’s signing her life away? That there is no way out? Whatever happens with you aside, as a member of my executive staff, she’s in this forever.
Me: So melodramatic. I didn’t phrase it like that. And there is no aside from me.
Maddox: Good, bro. Let’s not take pickup lines from Papa Axe.
Axel: She’s going to be working for me. I need to know her expectations.
Cash: She probably doesn’t expect you to tell her she’s signing her life away. Don’t lead with that.
Me: ^^^ Facts.
Axel: You’re agreeing with Cash. Shouldn’t that tell you something?
Cash: Hey, I have brilliant ideas.
Jax: And cunning.
Cash: See? And cunning.
Me: This has her wearing my ring and living under my roof. Nothing else matters.
Axel: Except that it’s fake.
Me: Only to her.
Maddox: I’m not sure that’s an argument you want to lead with either.
Cash: You tricked her into a proposal?
Jax: He’s cunning too. Fake means he can still play hard to get.
Axel: And it still puts me in a bind.
Me: Give her a month of orientation. She’ll be eased into her attorney role. I’ll be where I need to be by then. In a better zone, where I can be certain she will care about nothing else.
Jax: I see what you did there, man.
Me: It’s eight a.m. there, Jax. How the hell are you up already?
Jax: Never went to bed. I had a late night session for a full-back tattoo. And I’ve got my *feelings* appointment at ten.
Axel: Let’s not get into that now. Ryker, are you sure this is the way you want to go with her?
Me: You told me not to bulldoze.
Axel: How is this not fucking bulldozing?
Me: We agreed I needed to get creative. No collar. No offing anyone. No haulingher ass back home on a damn leash. This solves it all. Genius.
Maddox: That way sounds fun too though.
Axel: Be up-front about everything or better yet, just tell her how you feel.
Me: It’s too early for feelings. She’s too jittery. She’ll have some amendments to the contract, but she’ll sign. This arrangement makes acclimating her to my plans easier.
