Even though I can’t let her go because she’s relegated to the same eternal burning as me now, I release the hold on her shorts and allow her to escape, if only for a few fleeting breaths.
As she and Jax amble down the hallway into the bedroom, the buzz of incensed quarreling resumes. I’m rooted to this spot though. This empty view. The arguments and contention are nothing but a monotonous burial hymn.
Liam bumps my shoulder. “Fuck them, man. Go get her. Explain it.Convinceher.”
I don’t respond because Ryker hits me with another rancorous query.
“You left everyone and chased after her. Tracked her down and hid her from us. How long have you been fucking her?”
That’s a fair question. Expected even. And yet my blood boils.
“That part is new, but my feelings aren’t. I should’ve made her mine a long time ago. So, let me be clear now. I know your concern and outrage are because you love her, but that’s the last time you disrespect my wife with a question like that.” That’s all I give them before nodding to Liam, sticking my gun in my waistband, and bolting for my girl.
She isn’t in the bedroom when I reach it, but Jax is clearing out her drawers.
Breezing past him, I check the en suite, which is vacant, as is the walk-in closet. So, I stop a few feet away, stashing my hands in my pockets so he sees that I’m noncombative. “Where did she go?”
“I’m not a hothead like them,” he says, his focus never shifting from the drawers. “But Rena … she’s mine. She’s always been mine. I fucked up with her, too, so I can’t say anything about that. At least you tried to make it right. It’s just … the method you chose to fix things … it’s what Ryker was trying to explain in his harsh delivery. Rena has a big heart, the biggest. And when it comes to you, she …” He raises his gaze to mine, but unlike the other Noires, his doesn’t possess outrage; it ushers a plea. “If you fucking break it, she’ll never be the same.”
“I don’t intend to. There is no one more important to me,” I assure him, an anvil of overwhelm walloping my chest.
His mouth straightens into a line. “I figured as much when you nicknamed her. You might want to clarify things with her though. She’s gathering her laundry from the dryer.”
“Thanks, Jax.” I hurry toward the hall when his voice catches me.
“And, Ty …”
Halting at the threshold, I grip the molding and swivel to see him. “Yeah?”
“Don’t hide from her. No one respects demons more than Rena. She’s welcomed all of mine.”
With that advice still lingering, I burst into the laundry room and lock the door behind me to ensure privacy for this conversation.
Rena’s head snaps up to me, her blueberry-field eyes flooded and stained red. She scans my face with a swallow but recommences her task. Even angry and despondent, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She’s still in her black bikini and cutoff shorts, skin flushed pink to match her hair.
The space isn’t small for a utility room, but it’s compact enough that berries and butterscotch permeate every molecule of the air. She’s got her candy bag sitting atop the folding table, which is both sad and adorable. It makes me wonder what she’d be doing if she wasn’t chomping that hard candy to bits. Something crazier than what she’s planning?
“What are you doing?” I’m not sure why that’s what I start with. It’s obvious she’s folding clothes, but I’m a nervous wreck.
“Packing,” she states, ripping a shirt from the dryer and tucking it into a small square.
“You’re really leaving?” I pose it as a question when, in reality,I know the answer. She can’t. It’s too late. She’s named and claimed and owned by KORT, like the rest of us. I couldn’t bear to let her go now anyway, not without losing my mind once and for all. But I also need to know if she’ll choose me.
“Yep,” she answers, popping thePand tearing another garment from the tangled pile.
“Things got twisted out there,” I assert.
“Twisted?” She barks a disbelieving laugh. “They were freaking twisted long before that. This is my fault.” Animated as always, she flings a shirt through the air as she drives home her point, folding it, only to have it fall apart with her gestures. Over and over again. “I’ve replayed our conversations. You were telling me. But I heard what I wanted to hear. Believed what I wanted to believe. Ryker isn’t wrong. He’s a blunt asshole, but he has a way of seeing things clearly.”
Not wanting to expel the outright rage I feel for how Ryker mangled everything and made it worse, I opt for a straighter route. “That may be. But he is wrong about this. About us.”
“Really?” Her pupils blow wide, and her jaw locks as she shakes the T-shirt out like she’s waving a red flag at a bull. “Because what I know is that I held a torch for you for years. And you didn’t reciprocate it. You barely acknowledged me beyond pleasantries. So, eventually, I decided it wasn’t worth risking the relationships I had with Ivy and Celeste or the ones you had with my brothers on something that was obviously one-sided. I’m a big girl. And as a casino owner, I’m no stranger to knowing when you should hedge your bets. So, I moved on.”
She pauses there with a huff, but her lips are parted, plainly ready to expand. “But then you did that whole flirty thing and ran your fingers over my neck and stared at my lips and nicknamed me and told me I didn’t imagine any of it. And it was everything I’d ever wanted. So, actually, you did this. You fucked with me.”
“I didn’t fuck with you,” I counter, suddenly hot. “I’m here. If I had done those things and abandoned you, this would make sense. But I’m fucking here.”
“Because of an obligation, Ty! You married me to protect me.” She crumples the shirt in her hands, balling it up with her rage and flattening it out on the table three seconds later as she garners some semblance of tranquility. “I’m not some weak, pathetic, lovestruck girl who is going to beg someone to want me. Screw that. I pushed you because you flirted and texted back and came all the way here and looked at me like I was the only one in the room. And I freaking melted. But I won’t—”
