She wanted that, and she wanted it with Maxwell. Even though it would break the rules.
One afternoon, when the ache grew too sharp to ignore, she found herself lingering after the others had gone, helping Mairi fold linens she did not need folded. The baby slept in a basket near the hearth, tiny chest rising and falling.
“Ye’re quiet,” Mairi said at last, not unkind.
Ariella forced a smile. “Am I?”
“Aye,” Mairi replied gently. “Too quiet.”
Ariella smoothed a sheet, then smoothed it again, as if perfection could be found in fabric.
They worked in silence for a moment longer before Ariella spoke again, the words tumbling out before she could stop them.
“What if I cannae have children?”
Mairi’s hands stilled.
Ariella’s breath hitched and she pressed on quickly, as if speed could protect her from the vulnerability of it. “What if there is something wrong with me? What if I would nae ken how to care for one even if I could?”
Mairi turned then, eyes soft but steady. “Why would ye think that?”
“I daenae ken,” Ariella admitted. “I just… doubt.”
“That’s natural,” Mairi said. “Every woman doubts.”
Ariella gave a weak laugh. “Ye daenae seem to.”
Mairi snorted. “I have doubted every time. Even now.”
She adjusted the baby’s blanket with a practiced hand. “But there’s something that comes with it. A knowing. A pull. Women have it in them, whether they trust it or nae.”
“And if they daenae?” Ariella asked quietly.
“Then they learn,” Mairi said. “With love. With fear. With grace. With time.” She met Ariella’s gaze, then. “It’s divine, some say. I think it’s simpler than that. It’s just part of us.”
Ariella nodded, throat tight. “And what if me husband does nae want it?”
Mairi’s expression did not change, but her voice softened. “Every man wishes for a bairn… an heir to the lairdship. Does our laird say he does nae?”
Ariella swallowed. “He has set rules. That Hunter is his heir.”
Mairi’s eyes narrowed slightly, not in anger, but in understanding. “Men set rules when they’re frightened. Hunter cannae be his heir… he doesnae want it. He would run from it… as he ran from yer marriage.”
Ariella’s hands clenched around the sheet. “The laird is nae frightened.”
Mairi gave a quiet huff. “Aye, and I am the queen of France.”
Ariella laughed despite herself, the sound breaking something loose.
Mairi’s gaze warmed. “Ye love him.”
Ariella went still.
“I didnae say that,” Ariella whispered.
“Ye didnae have to,” Mairi replied.
Ariella looked away, blinking hard. “It doesnae matter.”
