Or rather, he missed the life he was supposed to have with Clarise.
Her brother, William, had stood trial for involuntary manslaughter. In those days Alaska was run by a navy general who acted as governor, and that governor just so happened to be Clarise and William’s father. And governors’ children were rarely convicted of intentional crimes, and they certainly didn’t get convicted of crimes they accidentally committed.
It was true there’d been a rash of robberies in Sitka for about two months leading up to Ivan’s death. The thief had been caught the very next week, and the jury had ruled that William Rothley had been defending himself, his sister, and their property when he struck Ivan. They declared him innocent.
William’s trial and acquittal had felt like reliving Ivan’s death all over again. Alexei hadn’t been able to truly grieve Ivan’s death until it was done.
After the trial was finally over, what should have been a time of clinging to Clarise and making plans for their life together had instead been marked by her slowly withdrawing from him. At first she’d been insistent that he could never forgive her, but he’d been just as insistent that there was nothing to forgive. William, not she, had killed Ivan, and it truly had been an accident. And even though he still felt frustration and anger and sorrow when he thought of Ivan’s death, he’d still fallen in love with a flaxen-haired, blue-eyed woman who had a smile for anyone and everyone.
He’d taught her to sail a boat and tie a sailor’s knot. And she would tease him into smiling when he was too serious or beg him to take breaks from the office and go for a walk around the harbor. She could see the light from the office above the warehouse from her own house, and when he worked late, sometimes she would come over with a batch of cookies—ones she’d baked herself, not asked their cook to bake. Theywould stay up until the wee hours of the morning, talking and dreaming and planning and kissing.
After the trial, they moved up the wedding, since Alexei wouldn’t be returning to San Francisco for his last year of school and set a date for October. But one day Clarise didn’t come to meet him for their walk by the harbor. He’d thought it odd but decided to wait, certain something had come up and that she would stop by the house as soon as she was able.
But one hour turned into two, and two turned into three, and three turned into four.
He’d finally headed over to the Rothleys’ after dinner.
He could still recall the paleness that had crept over the butler’s face when he asked after Clarise. Still see it slowly dawning on the servant that Clarise had left without saying a word. She’d left a letter for the housekeeper to give him that the butler hadn’t known about. The letter explained that she’d gone to Washington, DC, with her brother and mother to stay with her mother’s sister, and that her father, General Rothley, would be joining them in the spring when he finished his service to the navy.
And that had been the end of it. He’d spent four years of his life falling in love with a sweet girl-turned-woman, only to have her jilt him.
Earlier that afternoon, Yuri had spoken of all the ways he’d helped him and Kate and Evelina, the native tribes, and anyone else who had a need.
But none of that made his heart hurt any less when he thought of how he’d lost the woman he’d once loved so dearly.
32
Inside Passage; One Week Later
The pain was worse than she’d expected. Rosalind squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the rocking of the ship to ease, but no sooner had the ship straightened than it was caught up on another wave. Up and down, up and down. Each movement jarred her ribs and sent flashes of agony through her body. She wasn’t one who typically got seasick, but the pain was bad enough that her stomach was starting to feel queasy.
She whimpered, then tucked her knees against her chest, curling herself into a ball on the bed in the captain’s cabin. And to think that Dr. Reid had said the ship would be the gentler part of the journey. He was more concerned about the train, but she couldn’t imagine being in more pain. The constant moving was causing more agony than when her father had nearly beaten her to death ten days ago.
“Rosalind?” The door to the cabin creaked open, and Yuri’s voice filled the room, but she didn’t acknowledge him.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Hurried footsteps approached the bed, but she wasn’t going to roll over and look at him. That would only hurt more.
Oh, heavens, she was such a child, not even able to roll over in her bed.
“Rosalind, darling?” Yuri stroked her hair away from her face, then settled a hand on her shoulder. “Do you need help? What can I do?”
“It hurts,” she rasped. “Nathan was right. I’m not strong enough to make the journey, and this was supposed to be the easy part.”
“There’s a storm coming, and the sea is wild. Normally I would tell Captain White to ride it out, but we can seek shelter off one of the islands until it passes.”
“No. Don’t make the whole ship wait on me. We’ve already booted the captain out of his cabin, and the ship is making an extra stop in Portland just for me. Tell Captain White to keep going. I’ll be— Ah!”
The ship came down hard off a particularly large swell, causing her to bounce against the mattress. Flames licked the lower part of her chest, and she curled herself into an even tighter ball.
“Hang on. Let’s see if this helps.” Yuri kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed behind her. Careful not to touch her ribs, he slid his arm over her lower stomach and hips.
It would have been a wholly inappropriate position had they not been married, but the Russian Orthodox priest had come to the house yesterday evening to marry them before they left. They’d also signed paperwork to annul the marriage and even had the priest sign it, along with writing a statement that claimed she’d been under duress at the time of the marriage.
“Does this feel better?” He spoke into her hair. “Are you moving less with me behind you?”
She drew in a shallow breath, and only then did she realize the pain had lessened right along with the pleasant warmth filling her chest. “I... It doesn’t make any sense. Why is there less pain?” It was still greater than when she’d boarded the ship, and she could still feel the rising and falling of the vessel as it bobbed on the water, but this was certainly better.
“Nathan told me I might need to try this. Having something firm against your back can lessen how much you move, but a wall or board would be too firm and an unnatural shape, so he suggested I lie behind you and brace your body so that I absorb most of the movement.”
