“Only the once that I saw.” She sniffled and shook her head. “It’s probably best you didn’t hear though.”
“Ah, Vic.” He tightened his grip around her. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? You didn’t do anything.”
For the pain, for the sadness, for the way I wanted to help three children in need, but only ended up hurting you.He reached down and spread his hand over the flat of her belly.For not giving you a baby.
She covered his hand on her belly with her own. “How do you think Beatrice is faring with little Meredith?”
“Just fine.” He used his free hand to stroke a strand of hair back from her face, then let his hand drift the rest of the way down her silky locks.
“I wish I could go see my niece. Hold her.”
Was he allowed to be thankful she couldn’t visit? That the harbor had already closed? The last thing she needed was to hold a wee babe in her arms. Giving Jack, Alice, and Toby back to their father would already be difficult enough.
Maybe by the time the harbor opened, Victoria would have a little one of her own on the way, and handing tiny Meredith back to her mother wouldn’t be so hard.
“Do you think she has blonde hair like Beatrice’s? Or will it be dark like her father’s? And what about the eyes? Beatrice didn’t write anything about how Meredith looked, just mentioned she was healthy and seven pounds.”
“Victoria…”
“I know Beatrice will be a great mother. She’ll rock her to sleep, sing to her, dress her in the finest clothes, and… and… and…” Her voice broke, and she turned into him. “If God’s going to take away the O’Byrnes, why won’t He give me a baby of my own? Does God think I’ll make a poor mother?”
Elijah opened his mouth to respond, then closed it again. Though he couldn’t answer for God, he certainly doubted thatwas the reason. His wife would make one of the finest mothers in the whole of Copper Country. “I don’t know what God’s thinking. But Proverbs three promises that if we trust in God with all our hearts, He’ll direct our paths.”
A tear crested and trailed down her cheek. “But what if God’s path never includes a baby?”
He swallowed and pressed his lips to the top of his wife’s head. He could think of half a dozen Bible verses to answer that question. But at the moment, he didn’t want to recite a single one. Like Victoria, he simply didn’t understand. He knew what he was supposed to do—trust God’s plan, even when it made no sense. But he wasn’t sure he could find the patience to do it this time around.
Not when he wanted to give his wife a child of their own.
Not when he wanted to keep Jack, Alice, and Toby just as much as his wife did.
Chapter Thirteen
Jessalyn blinked at the sketch of the bridal dress before her and focused on the neckline that still wasn’t laying quite right. Should she add some lace? Or maybe change it from a square cut to a scoop neck? The drawing blurred, and she rubbed her eyes.
She’d been right not to trust Thomas. What he’d confessed tonight may have taken place five years ago, but his deceit still hurt, even now.
But should she blame him for trying to solve their money problems? If gambling would have worked and he’d have come home with twice their money, she wouldn’t have cared how he’d gotten it, only that there’d be more money to help with the constant stream of bills. In fact, they might have used the money to all go west with him.
She curled her hand into a fist. And why was she sitting in her shop in the dead of night wondering about things that might have happened years ago instead of working?
Because she still remembered how he looked three hours ago, standing in the moonlight, the dark porch casting most ofhim in shadow, but not quite enough to mask the lines of regret etched onto his face.
He should have never deceived her about their savings, but his apology tonight was sincere. She’d no doubt that he’d go back in time and change things if he could.
But that still didn’t mean she could trust him.
Paper crinkled under her hand, and she looked down to realize she’d crumpled the edge of the sketch in her fist.
She set the paper down and glanced out the dark windows of her store. It had probably been time for bed two hours ago. She reached for her lamp and started toward the stairs, stepping around a pile of shirts that had spilled from one of the tables onto the floor. When she reached the second floor, she peeked in Megan and Claire’s room, then Olivia’s, before finally entering her own.
Of all the things she’d learned tonight, perhaps the worst was that Henry had known about Thomas. When Henry had come to Eagle Harbor because she’d asked to move back to Chicago, he’d known where Thomas was and that he was sending money. And still, Henry tried convincing her to give the girls up for adoption and make a marriage that would prove advantageous for him. The union wouldn’t have been legal since Thomas was alive, but Henry hadn’t cared.
She slipped into her nightgown and slid beneath the covers. Why hadn’t Henry simply told her where Thomas was, that he was sending money? He wouldn’t have even needed to give any of Thomas’s money to her. She’d have written Thomas and gone to him in South Dakota at that point. She’d had nothing to keep her in Eagle Harbor then, not even work, and she’d still been half in love with her husband.
She turned out her lamp and burrowed her head in the pillow. Would things have turned out differently if she’d have gone west to find Thomas when Megan was a babe? Or wouldSouth Dakota have only held more arguments and anger for both of them?
